Everything's Better with a Bottle of Pills
by Saruno Hadaki
Summary: Drinking, sex, drugs, drugs, and drugs. When a doctor and therapist thwart Matthew's plan of having the perfect lifestyle, he is forced to face the music. He is taken to a "special place" to "get better." Will he truly be able to kick the habit, or will he fall into deeper troubles? Eventual NetherlandsxCanada fun, but before then enjoy all the Canada pairings under the sun!
1. Matthew's Got a Secret

PART I

Matthew's Got a Secret

Matthew hid away in a closet, his face covered by the dark. "Hey! Matthew, we're going out. I won't be back 'till later!" Matthew's brother shouted from upstairs. Matthew nodded, despite knowing that Alfred didn't actually care if he responded or not, and that Alfred probably couldn't see him. The boy stood up, running upstairs from the closet he was hiding in as soon as he heard the door several feet away close. He reached the bathroom and opened the door, taking his look around the place.

Inside the bathroom were typical things one would expect to see in a bathroom. There was a cabinet full of possible medications; Benadryl, zantac, Mucinex, et cetera, and on the counter sat a simple two toothbrushes. It was a simply bathroom. Matthew silently knelt down in front of the sink's cabinet and tugged the doors open, revealing a pretty good-sized, black, metal box. He set the steel box down as it made a metallic 'clank' sound from inside. He sat for a moment, thinking over a few things, rationality slowing losing the fight to cravings and desires. He then reached for the top and flipped it open, revealing the contents inside.

Inside was a box of gauze and bandages, a few needles, a shiny, clean blade, and a few pills. Matthew picked the box up and then flipped it over, letting all the objects spill out onto the floor with one crash. He looked over all of them, his eyes frantic. He sighed with relief, seeing the bottle labeled 'somnolent pills,' basically sleep pills. He fiddled with the cap before he managed to rip it off, throwing his head back.

"Ahhhh…" he sighed with relief, resting his head against the wall as he nearly melted to the floor. He closed his eyes and rubbed down his body until he passed out.

* * *

"Geez. Is he ok?"

"I don't know. Does he _look_ ok?"

"Not… really…" replied the other.

Matthew was too exhausted to open his eyes. He could hear their voices, and he wished that he really was invisible. Or dead. Or his bear. The bear that was sitting on his chest, making it hard to breathe. It was already hard to breathe in the first place, but now he _really_ _**couldn't**_ breathe.

"Uhhg…" Matthew moaned lightly, trying to lift his head. He could hear whispering about him, and that made him curious as to what they were saying about him. His leg twitched and he sighed, his eyes feeling too heavy to open. "Help…" he whispered, his voice fading back into unescapable darkness, and he slipped away, unable to save himself from the inevitable.

* * *

Matthew woke up in a stiff, white, unfitting bed. He groaned and opened an eye, finding himself in a very revealing hospital gown. He immediately freaked out, his initial reaction to see if his scars were showing. His head snapped over to his legs to find that they were, as clear and vulnerable as day. He pulled the blanket up, and the gown down. He sighed and looked around the room afterwards, a light blush still on his face. He had to know where all the medications were in case he ever needed any. His eyes rested on a pill cabinet near the exit and he sighed with relief.

Matthew didn't care to know where anything else was in the room. He did happen to find a whiteboard next to his bed labeled with different doctors that would be watching over him every hour, along with the medications he would take. There were only Prozac, for his major depression disorder and some other stupid pain medicine that he didn't care to read. Most of the rest of the room just smelled like a doctor's office, which didn't prove to be very stimulating.

The little Canadian sat up and attempted to move his legs, his fingers shaking lightly. He needed something to calm him down. He glanced around the room, his eyes furrowed in worry. "K…k… K-Kuma?" he whispered, his eyes slowly widening. There was no one there, but Matthew couldn't very well just fall asleep! He needed something to keep him distracted.

"HEY MATTHEW! HOW GOES IT?!" Alfred cheered loudly as he bust open the door, running over and squeezing Matthew to death. Way to turn off a guy. Matthew was doing much better before his bones were crushed to death. He squeaked and surprisingly coughed after Alfred let go. Alfred looked seriously worried, rambling on about how worried he was, and how he found the razors, pills, blah blah blah, etc. etc. Matthew set his glasses aside and rubbed his eyes.

"Oh, Matthew, have your eyes grown larger?" Arthur asked, narrowing his eyes as he looked at Matthew. If Matthew wasn't such a sweet, innocent-looking little cutie he might've glared at Arthur and said something snappy. He shrugged and looked up at Arthur innocuously. Puppy-dog eyes were the most important part of the shtick. What had ruined his plan, though, was when a certain Frenchman showed himself in the doorway.

"Bonjour, I am doctor Bonnefoy~" the fancy French fellow announced as he walked in, wearing the uniform lab-coat and, of course, a clipboard in hand. He had wavy hair, a strong build, and pretty maazing-looking violet eyes, somewhat like Alfred, only a little... hairier, and older. Needless to say he looked pretty hot for a guy, and Matthew knew that whoever the French guy's eyes rested on he was momentarily mindfucking that person, thus that was why Matthew refused to make eye contact with his doctor. Alfred took Arthur's hand, probably because of something like competition for a mate, or something like that. That was a lazy example, since they were humans and not wolves or whatever.

"…But you can call me Francis." added as everything fell silent. The doctor hummed and leaned over Matthew. Matthew was thinking of the best way to manipulate this man. Francis started rambling about medications, and Matthew's eyes were securely fixed on the doctor as he listed different medicines. Matthew was making a mental note of what medications could give him a high. Alfred cleared his throat, making Francis turn to him. Matthew was left hanging.

"So… are any of these addictive?" Alfred asked carefully. Shit. Matthew knew he was gonna be figured out now. "No, we are completely aware of Matthew's symptoms and we will try our best to heal him." Francis informed. Alfred nodded, and after a bit of awkward silence and attempts to _break_ the awkward silence, Alfred and Arthur left. Probably to have pity sex. Francis resumed his staring at the Canadian, even going so far as to offer a less than convincing smile.

Francis tilted his head and sat down close to Matthew, in the chair Alfred had probably sat in earlier. "Are you feeling all right?" he asked softly. Matthew quickly shook his head, feeling shaky. Francis frowned a bit, sighing. "What can I get you?" he asked, his voice still soft. "M-medicine…" Matthew whispered, feeling anxious to get his fix. "Oh, you must still be hurting. All right, I'll go get your medication." Francis assured, standing, practically swaying as he left to go retrieve Matthew's miracle drug.

Matthew thought while the Frenchie was gone. Hurting…? Matthew leaned over to read the summary of his injuries, plucking the clipboard off the end of his bed, with rarely an issue. It read that Matthew was experiencing heavy cutting, several suicidal effects…. And fell down a flight of stairs.

He was thinking of how this possibly could've happened. Alfred and Arthur probably drooped him or something, since he didn't remember doing this himself, although he _could_ imagine doing this to himself… maybe.

Matthew quickly looked over his body. Yup, bandages over his chest and his waist… a bandage on his forehead… well, bandages all over his face. So it turned out that Matthew was heavily drugged, much more than he often even gave to himself for his highs. He was basically only half here, and thus the great mystery ensued: what could've possibly had happened to him?

Before Matthew could answer this befuddling question, Francis came back with two pills and a glass of water. Matthew snatched the pills up and ate them, and then drank down the glass of water in a heartbeat, all part of his routine. Francis laughed lightly and resumed sitting in his favorite spot right next to Matthew's bed, almost like a predator waiting for its victim to either die or fall asleep. Matthew was hoping it was the second one; to be completely serious (as if), he wasn't suicidal.

Francis placed a hand on the bed, but Matthew didn't really care. He was waiting for the drugs to take effect, even if they were potential death traps. The realization struck him that he should probably say "hey thanks for getting me my fix, I don't know what I could do without you." But maybe a more... subtle approach was the way to go. "O-oh… merci…" Matthew piped after a bit noticing Francis was looking at him, expecting him to be all high and mighty like Alfred, or say something boring like a doctor would. "You speak French?" he simply asked.

Matthew nodded, looking up at Francis. What was so surprising about it? His eyelids started to fall close and Matthew wished he had inflicted a bit of pain after realizing it was sleeping medicine. It always felt better to fall sleep bleeding lightly; there was a sort of excitement to it. He noticed Francis moving, but he really didn't care. He leaned back against the bed and let his eyes fall close, feeling pretty comfortable about all of this.

* * *

When Matthew woke up, he heard a creaking sound, like something rocking back and forth. He felt some kind of weight on his chest and lower abdomen… he was still extremely numb from the overdose Francis fed him, which, by the way, was completely Francis's fault. He rested his head back for a bit, not caring to know what was happening before he realized that something heavy was on top of him, feeling his senses slowly but surely return to him. He felt something tight inside of him, and he opened his eyes, trying his best to lift his head up. His head felt as heavy as lead, and it pounded, so that didn't help.

"Ahhhh~" The doctor moaned, thrusting back into Matthew. So ow, that hurt. But it was like pleasure somehow managed to seep into his body. Matthew gasped, finally piecing everything together. He was being raped in the hospital. He tried to move, but he just managed to spread his legs wider. He blushed, realizing that his scars were showing. Francis looked down, and his smile widened.

Oh, the indecency of it all. Francis was completely naked. He couldn't have just kept his shirt on. Matthew didn't even have HIS clothes on. Great. For all he knew the door wasn't even locked. Matthew's head hit against the wall and he grunted, biting his lip. Ok, so maybe this hurt a lot, but it was impossible to explain it in a way that didn't make it sound like this was Matthew's guilty pleasure, which it may or may not have been. Matthew wrapped his arms around Francis' shoulders for leverage, despite the fact that this whole situation was totally bizarre. It wasn't like he wasn't going to get away although, so the best he could do was subdue some of the pain.

Francis hit him hard against the wall once more, making Matthew leak a little down his leg. It was like a rollercoaster, one where you didn't feel entirely safe. The ride was never truly over, although with all the twists and turns and stomach-wrenching sickness, one would hope it would end soon. Rollercoasters were a bunch of freaking misleading shits. Matthew moaned loudly, pulling his leg up. Francis softly pressed his hand against Matthew's chest, pressing him back into the bed. Matthew winced lightly, being a fragile person, and squeezed his hands around Francis' shoulders.

"Oh god…" he whispered, moving his hips along with Francis' thrusts now so it _hopefully_ wouldn't hurt so badly. Francis pushed Matthew's head against the wall, releasing his seed all over Matthew's insides. Mathew felt unkempt and mistreated; a little used, too. He screamed, his twitching member spraying over Francis' chest. Matthew blushed darkly, and quickly covered his face.

Francis lowered his head. "Oh mon dieu… you're very good. Very fuckable." he informed, kissing Matthew on the forehead. He pulled out, stood up, and started getting dressed, retrieving the clothing off of the food tray. Matthew made a mental note not to touch anything from that table unless it was sanitized first. He frowned for a bit, but simply played the part of silent onlooker, watching Francis with silent inquisitiveness as he slipped his doctor's coat back on.

Matthew pulled the blanket back up and over his waist, although that didn't help for the bad sensation he was getting. He smiled slightly, thinking something very inappropriate. "Hm?" Francis asked as he turned around after noticing that Matthew was staring. "Mmm... nothing." He replied softly. Francis walked to stand in front of Matthew, his crotch pretty close to Matthew's face. It reminded Matthew of that one time he was super high and he wanted to have Kuma give him a blowjob.

"I've never seen a person smile after what I've done to them." Francis informed, kneeling down a bit to see Matthew. He held out a hand. "Welcome, Mathieu. I promise to take special care of you." He said softly.

* * *

_**AN: Hello! I hope you like this! I found it quite spontaneously in the middle of trying to type something about Pirate Arthurs and getting flung over the side of his ship. I'm totally going to finish this, though. At first, it was about... 11,000 words, but I've decided to break it into more readable parts. If you want me to keep writing this, I take comments to heart. They are my friend. So please, review if you liked this or have something to suggest-all of them are welcomed. **_


	2. Karma's Gonna Get You!

**_AN: Warning! What to expect: foul language, some suggestive "themes," and an angry Canadian. There is mention of sex, but no sex scenes. Enter at your own risk, et cetera, et cetera, and enjoy!_**

PART I

SCENE II

Karma's Gonna Get You!

*~*~*~ Matthew stayed in the hospital. The doctors never said he was healthy enough to leave because of his eating "disability" and abuse of drugs, despite never correcting the issue. Matthew insisted he HAD to take the medications-the medications he was addicted to… *~*~*~

Matthew sighed as he walked down the hospital corridors, which had become his usual routine over the past several days. Frenchie sex today wasn't all that appealing. Francis insisted that Matthew stop taking so many drugs with the sort of personality a guardian would have. Matthew decided to drop Francis for a bit, just leave sex alone, and find some other means of entertainment. Maybe smoke some pot. Of course, Matthew found that too vulgar now. There were way easier ways to get a high.

As he entered his room after his walk, Matthew met face to face with some guy smoking a joint on his bed. Oh, Hell NO. Matthew was prepared to slap that stranger. He had a good thing going here, pretending to be sick or whatever for his meds. He walked over, playing the- 'I'm sick what are you doing I'm so scared and innocent and I have problems' -kind of thing. But, even as he stepped over to confront the man, he simply spoke again.

"Uh, I said hello," the stranger merely informed, smiling at the Canadian. Oh yeah, the bitch was still here. Matthew waved weakly, and, with the audacity of someone truly ready to wreak havoc on this stranger's day, sat eerily close right next to him.

"H...hi." He responded. Matthew was never good with words. Or, at least more times than not. There was a short silence, then the man turned to Matthew. Matthew took in his appearance, and concluded that nothing about this guy was even credible. He was smoking what Matthew believed to be marijuana on his bed, his hair gelled up like a fucking weirdo, and some sort of stern face Matthew couldn't take seriously. And what was up with the scarf? It wasn't even winter!

"I heard you were going to move into our mental facility soon. My name is Abel. I go by Roger." He stated, extending a hand. Matthew shook his hand, retaining the perverted thoughts in his head. He knew that was way off topic, but Matthew had a thing about sex now. "The doctor says you're addicted to sleeping pills, pain pills, marijuana, sex, cutting..." He muttered, trailing off. Matthew blinked. What to do. Act like nothing happened? Fake cry and make him feel all guilty? Look innocent?

Matthew's mind went blank. "I-I don't know what you're taking about..." he muttered, shakiness creeping upon him.

"Oh really?" The tall stranger challenged. Matthew nodded silently. Good job Matthew, best response ever. He sighed and crossed his skinny legs, a childlike way of saying he wasn't welcome to the challenge. Roger took a glance at the gesture, and Matthew knew he might as well have found his new sex whore. He smiled a bit and scooted closer to Roger; it wasn't like this guy was going to be his friend, so this was the next best thing.

Roger stood up and put out his pot, putting the pipe back in his pocket. Abel still smelled like pot, a smell Matthew knew very well as a solution to his stress issues. "So you're coming with us, alright?" Roger asked. Matthew nodded, not at all listening to whatever it was the man was saying. He was much too busy deciding whether or not to call Roger 'Abel' instead. Roger was Abel to have sex in bed. That explained everything. Being 'Abel' to make so many puns out of his name. Yes, Matthew would call him Abel.

Roger took Matthew's hand, which appeared to be some sort of meaning. Matthew smiled fakely and stood up with Roger, yawning. He would much more like to be stuffing pills down his throat at the moment. Matthew had memorized Francis' schedule, so he knew just when to call on Francy-pants for sex. He wished it could be a weekend so he would get to see Francis again. It seemed this smart-ass here was going to terminate that relationship.

Abel told Matthew to grab everything but his pills, so he grabbed his bear. Everything else was worth nothing if you didn't count the meds. Kuma asked the all famous question of 'Who are you?' and Matthew responded with a soft 'I'm Matthew.' Abel probably found him as adorable as fuck right then. That was good, because Matthew wanted to manipulate this man. He patted Kuma as they walked down the hall, leaving the other stuff in the hospital. As far as Matthew knew, this was how therapies worked; they struck when you least expected it, and miraculously removed you from everything you knew to a new, strange place to heal and get better and shit like that.

At the end of the hall they met up with Francis. Frenchie looked overjoyed to see that Matthew was getting help, and the bright smile on his face said it all without saying a word, although there were a few of those, too. "When I asked you to help, I never expected something so wonderful!" He said to Roger with that stupid smile still on his face. Bitch shit Francis set this all up. Matthew covered his distrust and anger under a sweet smile that said 'I wanna kick your ass' under it.

Abel and Frannie talked forever about Matthew. Kind of like how parents argue over their child to find what's best for them, only it was like they were both agreeing on all the negative shit instead of arguing over it. It turned out that Matthew was going to go to a mental facility for the mentally-and physically-unhealthy, which made Matthew fit the bill perfectly.

Maybe part of it would be like a fat camp, where everyone was miserable but with the relatively same issues. Matthew was deemed suicidal, addicted to pills, and addicted to sex. Matthew just thought of himself as creative and alive. Not some pill popping freak. He and Abel got into the man's huge pickup truck, which smelled _a lot_ like pot. This was not helping the Canadian druggy. It made it worse. Matthew wanted to lick Abel thanks to the wonderful smell emanating off of him.

"Oh, you'll love it there. You have group therapy every Monday to Thursday, and then you have private therapy on Friday. On Saturday and Sunday we usually all come together in the REC center to review our process and achievements." Abel informed, glancing over to Matthew as he drove.

Sounded like Hell already, but at the same time… there was some good to it. The good thing was that it was a gay place. No people wanted to be ostracized, so they made a gay atmosphere for everyone to live in. Matthew already had a list of things that could easily give him an orgasm; pills, sex, and gay men were on the top of that list. 'The facility' sounded like a big opportunity to Matthew to stock up on that list of things. Abel parked the car and Matthew snapped out of thought, frowning slightly when the ride came to an end.

He looked in front of him to see a fenced building that looked like it was bleached. Almost like it was beaming white. And guarded by a graveyard. Matthew sighed deeply and got out, carrying his precious Kuma in his arms. He could barely walk thanks to the weakness in his legs, probably from the pills he ate earlier. Abel grabbed his arm to give him leverage, while Matthew was thinking _why didn't they let me stay a little longer?_

Matthew groaned loudly, making Abel look over at him. The Canadian quickly acted like his sweet, innocent self and Abel let him be with his groaning. He led Matthew straight towards the dreaded building, the one and only jail for the all disability-induced psychopaths out there. Matthew sincerely wanted to turn around and hide back in his closet.

Getting his room all set up and all that crap didn't take very long. It was just boring, unforgiving, and worthless. Abel led Matthew to his room, which looked depressing and lonely, with very white walls and a single metal bed. He already had a roommate that was a loud mouth alcoholic, from what Abel was telling him. From the sound of it he was also an albino, probably some kind of loner or something. Matthew did his usual check, seeing there was a lamp, two beds, all of the albino's shit in the corner of the room, and all of this with a single bathroom to boot. Abel explained that there were no locks in case Matthew had any ideas, which automatically shot down a good portion of his plans. Crap.

Matthew acted all sweet and innocent, thanking Abel for all he had done and all he was showing him until he finally left. Matthew went to the bathroom right away, finding some of the alcoholic's meds. Matthew snatched them up, reading over the medication. It didn't appear to be anything too serious, not the sort of stuff Matthew took, but it was medicine all the same. The words on the bottle made no sense, just read out some very long, complex scientific term for "Alcohol repellant." Or, at least that was the gist of what Matthew was getting from this bottle.

Matthew didn't even know such a thing existed. Well, bottoms up! He threw his head back and shook the bottle, opening his mouth for a few pills before he twisted the cap shut, still hearing the shaking noise in his head long after it was gone.

"Hey! That's so unawesome! What're you doing?!" some loud German guy yelled. Matthew turned to the doorway, the pills still in his mouth. The German guy wasn't at the doorway. He was right next to Mattie, shaking him now. Matthew swallowed by 'accident' and put on the sorriest face he could muster. He looked up at stranger.

The albino guy looked pretty hot. He wore a white tank top and skinny jeans, his hair a bit disheveled, like he was just sleeping. He stunk of glue; wonder why…

Matthew blinked and then cleared his throat. "I'm sorry." He said softly. "Damn. That stuff is strong and bad for you! What were you thinking?!" he asked, his red eyes huge. "I… I thought they were MY pills…" Matthew lied.

Gilbert laughed harshly. This was apparently some sort of joke to him now. "Well, they aren't. You don't even look like someone who should be taking pills." The albino warned, grabbing Matthew's hand. Matthew blushed lightly, conveying the deceiving thought that he was flattered by such a gesture.

But then Gil led Matthew to the nurse's office to get his stomach pumped.

After it was all said and done, Matthew curled up in his bed, (innocently like always) snoozing. This was one of those rare times Matthew was NOT falling asleep thanks to some kind of pill. The Prussian dude was on his own bed with some kind of bird. Kuma sat on Matthew's chest, making it hard to breathe. Again. Matthew only gave himself a second's notice to pretend to rest before he sat up, his brain automatically on the hunt for its favorite treat, scanning over Gilbert carelessly.

Gilbert, on the other hand, would not be ignored. "Kesesese! Hallo, I'm Gilbert, from Prussia!" he grinned, extending a hand. For some reason, this reminded Mattie of when he met Francis. Then Matthew remembered that this was a gay institute. He was screwed; literally.

"Hello… I'm M-Matthew… from... Canada." He stated, shaking Gilbert's hand. For whatever reason, they were stating where they were from. Where the Hell was Prussia? Given the man's accent, it was probably some place in Germany.

Gilbert noticed Matthew's stuttering, and Matthew knew he was probably thinking of how to handle the situation. He was speaking with a drug head, and some part of the Prussian probably knew that, although given Matthew's fresh knowledge of the place he doubted Gilbert knew how to handle the situation. Matthew cleared his throat and stood, feeling terribly ill, ignoring the stares the Prussian was giving him, which were beginning to get really annoying.

"How are you not dead?" Gil asked, his red eyes widening once more. It occurred to Matthew that Gil must've read over his records, which would explain it all. Matthew WAS a pretty fragile person… he sighed and nodded, understanding the question and its entirety. "I know. It's... it's been difficult for me lately." He stated, looking down. It was always Matthew and his drug problems. But at least he gained a high tolerance to most drugs, which... was both a good thing and an extremely shameful and dangerous thing.

The little Canadian sat in silence as he listened to the other rant about him. How much he could be doing better. How worried he was. Matthew, honestly, could not care less. He was starving and he wanted something to eat. It wasn't that he was anorexic, he just didn't watch how much he ate all the time…

Gilbert jumped at Matthew, whining about some bullshit Matthew wasn't paying enough attention to understand. "Uh… O-oh! Y-yes?" Matthew asked, looking at him as he began to rant again. "Let's go for some drinks!" Gilbert yelled, grinning. Matthew thought for a moment and then shook his head. He had tasted enough wine before-probably too many times thanks to Francis' mouth-and that was enough for him. He left the room to look for something to eat, after curtly telling Gilbert that he was not in the mood to drink.

Gilbert followed him and managed to lead Matthew to the cafeteria, where the Canadian was secretly grateful that Gilbert was there to assist him in not getting lost. Matthew collected a butt load of pancakes and started binge-eating. Gilbert watched in bewilderment, his eyes wide. Wasn't this kid anorexic?

Matthew despised the anguished stares directed towards him by this strange phenomenon. Kuma nibbled on a pancake, his paws covered in the syrupy goodness. Matthew gently wiped the bear's paws clean, sighing amicably at his bear.

Kuma may have been the only sane part of Matthew left. People had to admit the bear was fucking adorable. Kuma had even learned to memorize the first couple letters of Matthew's name, which to Matthew was the most amazing thing in the whole world. After wiping Kuma clean and tossing his Styrofoam food tray in the trash, Matthew went off to group, taking Kuma with him, despite the stares and the unspoken scoldings related to the opinion that he shouldn't be carrying a stuffed animal with him.

Matthew was admitted into the institute on Wednesday. No better day to do something than on a Wednesday, in the middle of the week, where you could wish it was Thursday so that it was almost Friday. When Matthew walked in, he saw there were chairs organized in a circle, and that he was the first to arrive. Mathew sat in the chair closest to the closet, and checked the clock to see that he just so happened to be approximately a minute early. Everyone else filed in that minute later, giving Matthew strange looks for being early. Gilbert sat next to him on his left, and some… dark-skinned fellow wearing a Hawaiian shirt sat to his right.

It started off introducing themselves, which, little did Matthew know, was something they did every day, regardless if there were new people in the group or not. When it was Matthew's turn, he stood, taking the chance to wave at the others in the circle. Everyone waved back. "U-um… I-I'm Matthew…" he stated shyly. "Hello, Matthew." They called back, which was both really creepy and cool at the same time.

He knew the others added what was wrong with them, but Matthew refused to say it. After a short conversation with the leader of this little group, Matthew sat back down and his problem was left "undecided" until he had the balls to tell everyone what he was here for. Matthew had some respect for the fact that the leader of the group gave him time to face his addiction, but that didn't lessen his want to leave.

After the group thing, which was a lot of talking about the issues that plagued them, Matthew went back to his room, saying he had to go to the bathroom before it was his turn to speak. He first took a shower while trying very hard not to fall asleep. It felt pretty good, except Matthew really felt like fucking someone right now, and Francis was pretty much gone.

* * *

So, it went on like that. Matthew had a bit of a relationship with the Cuban guy names Carlos, mostly for sex and because the guy had a few drugs. Gilbert and Matthew fooled around, although the Prussian became a bore after a while and was suspiciously distant. As far as Matthew was concerned none of that even mattered, because his focus was on Abel, the only problem out of the whole facility. That guy was actually one of the therapists. Matthew never saw him smoking pot anymore, and he was strictly business, which was a real disappointment.

Matthew went to visit the hospital, although it was only a checkup from Francis and not a whole stay or anything of that ilk. The doctor Bonnefoy was the only one Matthew agreed to be checked by. Abel knew very well what the reason was, although when Matthew went to get permission from him to go to the hospital (for Matthew Abel was the only obstacle in the place, and the Netherlander had all control of anywhere he went and anything he did, being Matthew's therapist), Abel simply gave him permission with a warning look on his face.

Matthew rolled his eyes as Abel drove him to the hospital. "So no sex, get it?" Abel asked. Matthew nodded. "And no stealing pills, all right?" Abel asked. Matthew nodded. "And you won't cut again or hurt yourself, will you?" Abel asked. Matthew turned his head to Abel, as if to say, 'seriously?!' before he nodded, and rolled his eyes.

"At least you're eating more," Abel added positively. Matthew smiled a bit, nodding for the thousandth time. "I know." He added, believing that if he spoke up, Abel would leave him alone. Yet, even as Matthew attempted to craft such a clever scheme, it completely backfired and Abel spoke up even more, saying nice things about Matthew that he would've never expected. Matthew wasn't used to kindness. Maybe if he ignored it, it would go away, yet despite Matthew's wishes it didn't. Unable to handle the situation in a way that didn't make it seem like a drughead was handling it, Matthew would just have to sit and handle it. God, this felt worse than that time Matthew cut in the shower. He got soap in his wounds… they stung for days.

As Abel spoke, Matthew's drowsiness slowly faded away, and the Canadian soon found himself extremely interested in the scenery around him. Colors looked brighter, movements felt smoother, and Abel's voice sounded pleasant-er.

Abel stopped the car in front of the hospital, as Matthew sat, albeit restlessly, in the passenger seat. He tapped his foot relentlessly, and covered his shoulders with his hands. "Are you all right?" Abel asked, looking towards Matthew worriedly. "Yup! Yup, yup, yup." Matthew chattered, smiling back at Abel as if he was the nicest man on Earth.

Abel got out of his side of the truck and made the long trek all the way around the truck to open the passenger's side for Matthew. He opened the door and took Matthew's hand, guiding him to his feet. Matthew's hand was very warm-almost hot-like he had a fever, and Abel didn't appear to be very happy about the new realization. He led Matthew towards the hospital, surprised by how complaint he was being. As they walked in, the smell of death and elastic gloves filled the room. Matthew was too busy eying the waiting room's visitors to notice, and simply held Abel's hand as Abel signed the Canadian in, and then led him to 's workplace.

The halls were silent as they walked, only filled with the occasional hum from Matthew or a strolling nurse's food tray. When they reached the doctor's office posted "Bonnefoy," Abel brought Matthew in and sat him in the room with Doctor Frenchie. Abel patted Matthew's shoulder, giving some sort of warning to Francis that if they did anything, Francis would be held accountable. Francis, seated at his desk not too far away, simply waved at Abel until he was gone.

Then Abel was gone. Matthew wasn't listening to anything anybody said. He noticed that Francis' mouth was moving, but Mattie didn't hear any noise. "Uh-huh…" Matthew replied, looking out the window. Francis went through his usual procedure; checking for fever, flexibility, blood pressure… all with a little extra touching involved.

"Mathieu, you aren't looking so good. I'll go get your medicine." Francis informed, then abruptly left, probably to go fetch something Matthew didn't want.

Matthew's gut twisted as he waited for Francis to return, and he had the sudden urge to vomit. He made a bee-line for the trash can, kneeled down, hurled in it, and then wiped his mouth with the long sleeve of his jacket. Shit, that tasted disgusting. He was panting, without even realizing it, and was it just him or was it getting extremely hot in the hospital? By the time Francis walked back in, Matthew had curled himself up on the hospital bed, the tremendously sick scent of vomit wafting around the room. Francis cringed slightly at the smell, but nonetheless turned to see the vulnerable boy lied down on the bed.

The Frenchie waltzed over, shot in hand. With Matthew seemingly asleep, he stepped closer, moving onto the bed until he was straddling Matthew, hips pressing against the other's legs. Matthew turned his head, his wide, purple eyes beaming. He saw the needle in Francis' hand first, then pieced together the scene, seeing the way Francis towered over him. Sex and needles didn't mix anymore.

The good thing about the mental place was that Matthew started eating more. Pancakes were kick-ass because Matthew earned foodgasms from eating them, thus he didn't need sex or needles when he had such wonderful, healthy things. Francis lunged close to Matthew, kissing Matthew's neck with those tender lips of his. Matthew wrapped a hand around the shot, his eyes staring fixatedly at it, seemingly unaware of the rest of the situation. All he knew was that he wanted this fuck off. Francis said something about helping him, but Matthew only clenched his teeth, feeling aggravated. He yanked Francis' hand away, prying the needle from his hand, clutching it between his own completely incapable hands.

"Please, it would be my honor if you helped yourself~" Francis hummed, encouraging Matthew to inject himself with the semi-perilous needle. Matthew narrowed his eyes, pushing Francis onto the floor, earning an impressive shocked look from Francis, who probably never predicted Matthew could do such a thing. To push Francis onto the floor, on normal occasions, would have been a great feat, but the fact that Matthew didn't even break a sweat seemed to have intimidated Francis. He looked up, stunned. "I'm hurting you because I love you." Matthew whispered softly, looking down at Francis from his bed as if it was his pedestal.

Francis looked terrified, his eyes wide. He crawled back until he hit a cabinet. Wise guy, Matthew thought, although it'd do him no good. Matthew was pissed, and he wasn't going to stand for being-technically-raped anymore. He stood, and walked over until he was standing directly over Francis. From this point of view Francis was probably feeling a bit intimidated, although Matthew could tell from the blush that he was getting some sort of sick sexual thrill from this. Francis reached up and slithered a hand up Matthew's pants leg, sending a shoot of apprehension through him.

Matthew moved a foot forward, stomping down on Francis' crotch. The extreme pain obviously brought pleasure to Francis, some sort of masochist, who moaned while attempting to get the shoe off of him. What a sick pervert. Matthew then bent down and pulled Francis to his feet, his hands slipping around the man's collar, slamming the man against the cabinets and counters behind his back.

Objects from inside the cabinets clanged together, and Matthew sneered at the noise, obviously annoyed by it. Francis felt across the counter Matthew was pressing him into for some sort of object to protect himself with, although his attempts ended rather fruitlessly. Matthew ignored the search for protection, and simply raised the needle in his possession.

"Please stop, mon amour…" Francis pleaded, his eyes searching Matthew's face for some remorse, although all he found was a cold-blooded grimace, and if Francis's pleading was any inclination to what was in the needle, it wasn't good.

Matthew let go of Francis for a moment, making Francis think he was probably free, although the truth was far from that. "You have been deemed mentally defective," He whispered gently, "I'm afraid we'll have to continue." He grinned evilly, and dramatically stabbed the needle into Francis's arm. He pressed down on the syringe until Francis was completely injected with the drug, then let go, watching Francis fall to the floor, searching for something to say while the heavy drug immediately took effect.

Matthew walked back over to the bed and crawled onto it, closing his eyes as he made himself wonderfully comfortable. "Now leave me the fuck alone or else there'll be more of that." He threatened in a gentle murmur, then tugged the blanket closer and abruptly fell asleep.

* * *

The first inclination that something was going on inside the hospital room was the sound of banging and what Abel was pretty sure was pleading. Abel stood from his seat by the door and knocked, although there was no reply.

With some hesitation, Abel slowly opened the door back up and peeked inside.

Francis was sprawled out all over the floor, groaning lightly. Matthew, on the other hand, was curled up cutely, sleeping like a baby on the hospital bed, as if he hadn't drugged someone just minutes before. The needle rested under his hand, the container completely empty of the mystery fluid Francis had gone to retrieve and ended up being injected with. Abel sighed and closed the door once more, going to inform the doctors of what he had just discovered, all the while wondering how Matthew could possibly had done this.

**_AN: I took that last line of Matthew's from a picture, so all kudos goes to the artist who drew it. More to come~!_**


	3. Awkward Encounters

_**AN: WARNING! Nudity ahead. Enter at your own risk.**_

PART I

SCENE III

Awkward Encounters

Matthew woke up screaming loudly. The immediate reaction to his screaming was the shout from Gilbert of him saying, "Jesus!" and sighing rather loudly to Matthew's left.

The screaming was both embarrassing and uncalled for. Matthew hesitated a moment, then opened his eyes to get a good look of what he was up for.

First, Matthew registered the fact that he was sleeping in his bed, then his eyes widened once he realized that the stupid American, the fancy Brit guy, the albino, and Abel were here. He sighed rather tiredly and shook his head. Whatever it was he had done, it didn't prove to be good. One good thing, as least, was that his head didn't hurt as bad as it could've…

"Matthew, what did you do before we left?" Abel piped in, his face as serious as usual. This was a very straightforward question, despite being extremely random, and deserved a straightforward answer. Matthew thought silently about it, and how stupid it was, before simply blurting out the answer. "I ate some of my medication. And then I smelled some pot when I was in your car. I might've actually ate some random pills I found earlier…" he mumbled softly.

Matthew could hear Alfred gasp in surprise, and he was tempted to turn and look at the brother he hadn't had the chance to talk to in a good while. "Dude! Seriously?!" he asked. Matthew didn't understand how this had come as a surprise, but nodded slowly in response to confirm his actions. Arthur, just as annoying as usual, slapped his forehead and sighed in obvious discontent. Matthew could tell they were all just going to be selfish jerks tonight, and felt the want to simply go back to bed.

Matthew watched as they all talked over him, but the little boy didn't want to see any of them. Gilbert was basically only Mattie's roommate, except for when he was caught during an especially rare mood and complied to having sex with him; Alfred was only his brother; Arthur didn't really have any reason to be here except for the fact that Alfred was here; and Abel, well… Abel actually had a reason to be here, but it wasn't a very good reason… Matthew would probably just get a scolding from _him_.

Matthew had only a faint idea of what happened; he knew it was something violent, but didn't know exactly what_ kind_ of violence. He watched as the others spoke, sometimes trying to drag him into conversations where he would simply nod or smile, and they would get the gist of the fact that he wasn't especially inclined to speak. It wasn't until they started talking about the incident that he had to know.

"Wh… what happened?" he asked, already feeling close to tears. He had done something terrible, hadn't he?

Of course, Abel had to lie and said there was an accident and nothing more. Matthew, though, didn't believe Abel. But he didn't say anything, knowing he didn't need any more bad stuff on his conscious at the moment. The others began a short conversation with Matthew, then they left, all to their respected business. _Thank god_, Matthew thought, when everyone finally got the idea that he didn't want them here.

After Alfred muttered some very "motivating" words and the last of them filed out of his room, Matthew attempted to go to sleep. He had no pills for twenty-four hours and he was getting shaky, but concluded that ignoring it was going to make it go away... hopefully.

But when sleeping concluded not to be working at all, Francis came to the rescue.

He softly knocked on the door, gently opened it, and then poked his head into the room. "Bonjour…?" he asked as he hesitantly stepped into the room, closing the door after himself. Francis was looking especially cautious today, dressed in his uniform white coat, plain dress shirt, and black slacks. His eyes wandered over Matthew and the Canadian flinched, as if expecting the Frenchman to somehow harm him by simply looking at him.

Francis made his way over to Matthew and bent down to press a kiss to his cheek. Matthew squeaked in the sort of way that was pretty damn adorable, and placed a hand over the site of the touching. "Mon cher, are you all right?" Francis asked, tilting his head innocently. There was no use trying to hide it, Matthew figured, and shook his head.

Even Francis was scared on the inside; it was in the way his eyes glittered with unspoken trepidation. He placed a hand on Matthew's shoulder and wore the look of a happy man. "It's ok," He whispered softly, smiling weakly. Matthew frowned and shook his head in refusal. "N… n-no. You're bad for me." He replied slowly, trying his best not to be attempted to say that his words were some sort of outcome of a delirious Canadian's head.

Francis took in a deep breath before nodding. "I… I see…" he said, frowning. Matthew noticed this frown. It was the sort of frown people wore when they were tremendously disappointed, such as realizing that they were going to be housed in a mad house for three months. It was that sort of frown. Matthew figured that maybe it would make Francis feel better if he tried to comfort the man, but nothing worked. What was Francis supposed to do? Pretend he didn't get his ass kicked? Matthew asked what was wrong, but Francis wouldn't say.

Matthew felt pissed. If someone didn't tell him what happened soon, he was going to beat the living shit out of someone. Francis set his hand on Matthew's leg, but the look Matthew gave him in return specifically read "I don't want to be touched." He really didn't want sex at the moment, and he _especially_ didn't want to be touched by Frenchmen. He turned to face Francis and frowned, indicating his displeasure in his body language. Francis moved his body away, feeling intimidated, for whatever reason or another.

After the rather peculiar welcoming Francis gave, he stayed for a good while, keeping small talk with Matthew. Small talk was a waste of time. _Any_ kind of talk was a waste of time, despite it being something to do.

After approximately one hour slowly ticked by, Francis tersely announced he had to leave. He patted Matthew on the shoulder, which came off from the Canadian as very strange, but then left without a single word. Well, no matter. Matthew had better things to do.

Abel came back, thank God, replacing Francis almost immediately. None of Matthew's concentration was lost in those few minutes it took for his entertainment to be preserved, and Matthew figured everyone probably worked out some schedule unknown to him that would give everyone their time to speak with him. Abel was carrying a clipboard with him, looking as strict as usual. Matthew learned that the guy was from Netherlands, and that he fell down a flight of stairs to earn the scar on his upper left brow. He seated himself in a chair at the end of Matthew's bed, crossing his legs as he glanced over his clipboard.

"So. I found you unconscious on the hospital bed while Francis was laying on the floor. He had several bruises around his back area, and informs us that you drugged him." He stated, tapping his clipboard with his pencil. "Oh." Was all Matthew replied with. Best reply in the world, Mattie. "Yes. Changes will be made immediately." Abel stated, his olive eyes narrowing slightly as they lifted to meet Matthew's violet orbs.

Matthew was too tired for this shit. He wanted to lie down and rest, but with hearing the new news he lifted his head. "Changes? Are you even Abel to do that? I mean… a-are you allowed…?" Matthew asked, once realizing he used the dreaded word 'Abel.'

'Roger' lifted and eyebrow at the statement. He looked a bit surprised. "Yes, I am." He replied, his voice stern. Abel explained to Matthew that he was going to be cut off of all the drugs he was taking. No sex, no cutting, no medicine, and of course, no drugs, which meant no pot.

Hello! Welcome to Hell! Also known as reality, where people don't have the urge to smoke pot and eat random medication! At least it had been established that Matthew was not anorexic.

Abel leaned over and patted Mattie's shoulder, a small smile on his face. "It's all right. I'll be there to make sure you don't do anything too irrational." He assured. Matthew cringed. The first word that came to mind hearing 'guardian' was sex. He didn't even want to think as to _why_, so instead he began to think of something else, like the fact that he wasn't going to get a fix. That was sure to be interesting.

"Matthew." Abel started. Matthew looked up, shocked out of his thoughts. "Oui?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. "We're switching your rooms," Abel informed, making Matthew sigh with exile, "you're going to be in a room by yourself, but you'll have a nurse that checks on you regularly, and you'll have neighbors." Abel added.

* * *

So, the papers were filed, the arrangements were made, the things were moved, and Matthew got his new room. Still, no locks were on anything. At least this room was a little bigger than his last one, given he was the only one staying in it. After the nurse who showed Matthew to his room left, Matthew got to work.

The facility was four stories high. Matthew was on the third floor. Now, this didn't all that much matter, except it was somewhere nice to be if he wanted to commit suicide.

The first thing Matthew did was open the window for some air. The clouds outside were going to burst into rain any second now, but Matthew didn't care, nor mind. He walked over to his lamp and examined it; it was a simple lamp, with one plug and a shade; it was the sort of lamp old people probably used, with a chain one would pull to turn the thing on and off. He picked it up, pulling the plug out. At this point in time, rain was pouring in through the window, turning the carpet a foul gray color. As thunder roared outside, Mattie 'accidentally' dropped the lamp on the floor, hearing the loud bout of noise it created.

The light bulb of the lamp shattered into a million pieces as the metal frame rolled lifelessly across the carpet. Matthew quickly knelt down, gingerly handling a piece of glass from the pile, slipping it into his pocket before he stood once more, right in time for a nurse to dash into the room. She closed the window to prevent the rain from coming in, then kneeled down to clean up the glass. "Are you all right?" she asked kindly, looking at Mattie. The lady reminded Matthew of a peasant-not in a bad way, just in an "I am a peasant" sort of way. "Yes, I'm fine." He assured with the kindest smile he could muster.

The nurse stood, patting Matthew's shoulder a she left with the shards collected in a bag. Matthew went to the bathroom, closing the door that didn't lock. He sat the shard of glass on the counter as he stripped, making a bath for himself.

*~*~*~ MEANWHILE…*~*~*~

The nurse that picked up the glass had told 'Roger' everything that happened. Abel knew that this was no mistake, and that Matthew did it on purpose. But why? He re-read Matthew's records, noticing it mentioned cutting, along with the already recognizable traits he had seen with Matthew before.

Abel stood and hurriedly went to Matthew's room, stopping by the bedroom door. When he opened the door, he found no one occupying the room, although he could hear the sound of water running in the bathroom. And moaning. Abel had no idea if it would be as embarrassing-and awkward-for him to see Matthew in the shower as it would if it were the other way around. He knocked on the bathroom door, but it seemed he was inaudible. He knocked once more; louder. Still nothing.

He slowly pried the door open and poked his head through. The first thing he saw was blood. The tub was filled with water and blood; the red substance floated on the top of the water, visibly threatening and intimidating. The sharp blade of glass sunk down into the water as Matthew threw his head back, clenching his wrists to elect more pain from them.

Abel stomped over and turned off the water, ignoring the fact that Matthew was completely naked. "Matthew, you're getting out." Abel scolded, grabbing Matthew's cut wrist. "Oh my god, yes!" Matthew moaned, stretching his body. Abel rolled his eyes, blushing, trying to ignore Matthew's moans. How could he find this hot?

It wasn't as disturbing as it was somewhat distracting. Matthew already had an erection. No need for Roger to have one. It had to be strictly business; no distractions. He decided to take Matthew's arm instead and pull him out of the tub. Matthew stood, but his legs gave way, and the reason was clear; his legs were bruised, painted in blacks and purples. Matthew leaned against Abel so he wouldn't fall. Abel blinked in surprise as he looked for a towel.

Matthew, cold, wet, bleeding, and with a full erection. Nothing could be better. Abel blushed fiercely, but Matthew didn't take his time considering how Abel felt about this matter. "Oh yes, take me!" he moaned, pressing up against Roger. Roger grabbed the young Canadian a towel, grateful to have spotted one.

Matthew refused to take it, so Abel forced it around Matthew's body, where Matthew then let the towel stick to his bloody body. He only cut on his wrists, but the water suggested otherwise. Ok, so maybe Matthew _really_ liked cutting his wrists. He wrapped his arms around Abel's neck, his velvety-purple eyes deep with expression and meaning. Abel had to stop this. "Matthew, you-" "Have I ever told you how beautiful your voice is?" Matthew interrupted, tilting his head innocently.

Abel slapped his forehead. There were so many things wrong with that. "Go sit down." He finished, attempting to walk while Matthew clung to him. He sat Matthew on the couch and left to get Kuma while Matthew rubbed his cut wrists and thought.

Thinking about Francis, cutting, the pills… everything. Matthew didn't know what it was, but where he usually didn't care about things, Abel turned his mind around. Abel knew he was doing a bunch of shit wrong, and he didn't scold him for it. How could Matthew had been so naïve? Abel had been so patient with him, and Matthew just didn't understand it. He had just disgraced himself for the ten thousandth time, and yet, he was still making mistakes. He hurt Francis, he let himself be hurt, and he was dragging so many other people down with his stupid decisions and weaknesses. Abel was so invulnerable to everything he did, although he was still the only one willing to help. Matthew just didn't understand it.

Abel returned and sat Kuma on Matthew's less bruised knee; his right one. Kuma looked up and asked if he was ok. Matthew shook his head and involuntarily began to sob. "What is it?" Abel asked. "I'm such a whore!" Matthew cried. Abel hesitated, probably considering his next move, before he sat down beside Matthew and rubbed his back. "Well, this is just where all the healing begins." Abel assured, patting Matthew's back. Matthew shivered a bit as he nodded, staying silent, for the most part. Abel was talking softly to Matthew for a bit until Matthew had finally fallen asleep, his head resting on Abel's shoulder.

Abel carried Matthew to his bed and sat him down. Kuma sniffed Abel's hand and Abel smiled a bit. "Good night," he said softly, setting Kuma next to Matthew. That scored Abel some points, because Kuma wasn't on his chest.


	4. Personal Therapy

PART I

SCENE IV

Personal Therapy

Matthew awoke to the sound of crying. The first thought he had was that he finally died of a drug overdose and, surprisingly, someone was upset over it. Someone was indeed upset, but not in the way Matthew interpreted.

As he opened an eye, unsure of what he would see, Matthew came to learn that the very upsetting truth was that his precious Kuma was crying over him. Matthew quickly sat up, ignoring the important facts, like it hurt like Hell to move and that he was completely naked. "Kumajirou, what's wrong?" Matthew asked softly, tilting his head, placing a hand on his little bear's head to console him.

Kuma rubbed his furry little paws against his furry little face and looked down at the ground. "Y-you're gonna fall in love w-with Roger a-and f-forget m-me..." he mumbled childishly. Matthew felt a surge of emotion run over him. His bear was the most important thing in the world to him. To think of falling in love with a loser like Abel and ditching his bear at the same time was both impossible and ludicrous.

Matthew scoffed and dragged his bear closer, capturing his priceless Kuma in a tight, well-deserved hug. "What a ridiculous idea. I promise that would never happen, Kumajiroku," he said softly into one of Kuma's fuzzy ears. "Oh, my name is Kumajirou." The little bear replied, stuffing his face against Matthew's shoulder. "Yeah, sure, whatever… Kumajirkaua." Matthew muttered under his breath, then gently released Kuma from the hug, placing the fuzzball beside him as he stood to use the bathroom. Despite these plans, the second Matthew stood he sat back down, embarrassed by the fact that he was naked and forgot.

Kuma giggled lightly, relishing in the way Matthew blushed despite himself. Matthew's mind had been wiped from last night for whatever reason; maybe it was trauma, maybe he was some sort of drunk, or maybe he took pills he had forgotten he had taken that stole his memory before he could remember eating them.

Kuma tugged at Matthew's leg, almost falling off the bed in an attempt to catch his attention. Matthew picked Kuma up and carried Kuma with him as he walked across the room to his dresser, where he kneeled down, setting Kuma on his lap as he searched through his array of given clothing. He pulled drawer after drawer open, glancing at his wrists in obvious discomfort, then concluded that he should just pick something and wear it. What he chose ended up being some sweatpants and a large tee with the Canadian flag on it, a classic choice that never grew old.

Matthew then walked to breakfast, feeling like shit. His wounds hurt and he felt sore. He began to wonder what he would have had to do that would make everything hurt so badly. He knew it was useless to try and figure the confounding question out, so he simply let it be for the time being. He entered the cafeteria, placed Kuma on the table, and sat with who he presumed to be his 'fiends' at this point, which were both just fellow patients. He didn't really care for them. At the moment both Gilbert and Carlos were arguing over something nonsensical and inoperable.

Matthew coughed, interrupting whatever they were going to say. Both of them looked worriedly towards Matthew's general direction. Matthew was in the mood to slap both of them if they kept staring, and stood from his seat, abruptly plucking Kuma from his seat and taking the bear with him to the hallway adjacent to the cafeteria. He was getting sick; he could just feel it. He felt off all day and just assumed it must've been because he was getting ill with something.

"Where are we going?" Kuma asked. "We're getting out of here…" Matthew whispered back, glancing around the hallways. Once he knew no one was in the hallway, he wrapped his hands around a window and attempted to open it to no prevail. He sighed and rubbed his temples, thinking it through; for the moment, he decided it would be best to regroup in his room and come back tomorrow when he had more energy.

* * *

The next day, Matthew was bedridden. He was too sick to even move anymore. He was pissed that the nurses weren't doting over him like usual, and even angrier that Abel took a day off, right when Matthew really could've taken some emotional assistance.

Yet, Matthew was not going to let this stop him. He had to put the first step of his plan into fruition. The coughing was what initially woke him up, and thus Matthew could sleep no longer because of these damned fits. He forced himself to his feet the moment he felt awake enough to walk, and made his way to the window. He pulled the window open and leaned out the window, looking outside. He felt the weight shifting, but he didn't care, and he leaned farther out the window. Hmm... it didn't look too far down.

Kuma tugged at his leg, and somewhere inside the building behind him, Matthew could hear faint voices talking. Matthew ignored the familiar voices and leaned even farther out, before he felt his feet lift off the ground. Matthew didn't seem surprised; he expected this to happen, but he still screamed.

"HEY, wait a minute, y-" before Gilbert could finish that sentence, he heard the scream and turned to the room they were passing by. Matthew already heard who it was, but he despised those two. He didn't want their help. He gripped the edge of the window, looking down. What would it feel like to die?

Gilbert motioned Carlos over to help him with this. They both walked over and grabbed Matthew's hands, pulling him up. "N-no…" Matthew whimpered. Gilbert tugged on Mattie's foot and he was yanked back in, falling on top of both of them in the process. Matthew looked pissed. His eyes were narrowed towards both of them, unwavering. "Are you ok?" Gilbert asked.

For a long moment, Matthew just sat there, on top of them, unsure of what to do. He could so easily have done something inappropriate with this opportunity, but then he realized he didn't want to.

Matthew jumped to his feet and pulled Kuma along with him, the sudden urge to flee from these people igniting in his mind. He stepped out into the hallway, feeling somewhat upset over his decision to look out the window in the first place. "I-I don't understand," Matthew whispered gently as he walked down the hall.

Eventually, Matthew bumped into a very familiar face and gasped, looking up at him. The first indication that it was who Matthew thought it was was the uniform scarf hanging from his neck. Although taller than Matthew, Abel was surprisingly un-intimidating, even when he was so close. Matthew wasn't sure he had ever meet with Abel face-to-face. Abel ran a hand through his spiky hair that Mathew always suspected was just held up by mass amounts of hair gel, then glanced down at him. "Have you been crying?" he asked curtly, narrowing his eyes as he bent down to look at Matthew more closely.

Matthew shook his head as Abel closed in on his personal space. "Get away from me!" he exclaimed, then turned in an attempt to flee. Abel grabbed Matthew's wrist and pulled him back, almost right into his arms, which made Matthew scowl and attempt to move away, albeit fruitlessly. "Matthew, you can tell me anything. You know that, right?" he asked with the sort of gentle voice Matthew had come to accommodate with Abel. Yet, even though Abel was trying his darndest to calm Matthew down, Matthew just wouldn't budge.

"G-get away from me!" Matthew screamed, and stepped back with wide eyes. "Oh god… don't tell me you used again." Abel stated. "I didn't!" Matthew screamed, shaking his head frantically. Matthew noticed that Gilbert and Carlos were walking back over to check up on him, and he felt scared; terrified, even, of everything. He squeezed Kuma and closed his eyes, wishing it all away. In a way, Matthew got what he wanted, because not even two seconds later he felt his body give in, and he fainted, completely unconscious by the time Gilbert and Carlos even had a chance of reaching him.

* * *

"Do you think he's ok?" the American asked.

Matthew could finally hear as he woke up. He didn't dare open his eyes, or else people would direct attention to him, and he didn't want to talk to anyone. He had to listen to everyone jabbering about him. Everyone was there, from the sounds of it. Francis, Alfred, Arthur, Gilbert, that stupid Cuban guy… except… where were the people he really wanted to see-or more-hear? Where were Kuma and Abel?

Arthur and Frenchie started arguing, like usual. The Cuban guy Carlos and Gilbert were asking Alfred all kinds of questions, probably about what Matthew was like at home, and how that was any different from now. Matthew hoped that Alfred would feel guilty as fuck for not knowing anything about his own brother. Alfred lied about everything.

"Hey, how is he doing?" Abel called, the door creaking open as he assumingly stepped into the room. "I don't know. I would've thought Matthew would be awake by now…" Arthur responded. Matthew tried not to move, although he didn't like anything that came out of the Brit's mouth.

He could feel Abel walking over, standing in front of his bed. "How are you?" Kuma's voice asked. Matthew slowly opened his eyes, outstretching his arms to hug the bear. Abel leaned over, maybe too close, and handed the bear over. Matthew flashed Abel a grateful smile before he turned his eyes onto his precious bear, the trap that finally made him open his eyes. "Awwwww! Kesese, you look so cute!" Gilbert grinned, walking over. Abel stepped back, which made Matthew kind of sad.

"Non, he is _adorable_." Francis corrected, walking over as well. Matthew looked between the two and realization struck him as he looked between Francis and Gilbert. He just then realized that some of his best sex partners were in this room together. The old him would've thought it was hot to see all these guys arguing over him. The new Matthew found it annoying. He just wanted his therapist there to understand him and somehow fix him, if it was even possible to fix his problem.

"Oh, good morning, Matthew." Arthur stated. "It's afternoon." Matthew corrected. Arthur attempted to say something snappy back, but Alfred yanked Arthur into whatever he was saying to Gil and Carlos. Arthur of course whined about being yanked, and then everyone started talking at once.

Kuma covered his fuzzy ears with his fuzzy paws. Matthew sighed and sat his hands in his lap. This always happens. They always made it about them. "…Isn't that right, Matthew?" Francis asked, turning to Matthew. Matthew nodded his head, but remained silent.

He watched them all talk for a bit. Why were they here? If they were here for him, why weren't they talking to him? He buried his faced in Kuma's fur and kept his eyes closed. Abel tapped his shoulder, and he did not reply.

"Guys, Matthew needs his space." Abel stated. It was one of those times that Matthew didn't know what he wanted. He wanted an apology, yet he wanted them gone and wished they'd stay quiet at the same time. Matthew could sense everyone's eyes on him. Even if his eyes were closed, he felt somewhat idiotic for not acting appropriately around his guests.

"Why is he crying?" Alfred whispered. Arthur scolded him, then Matthew could hear them quietly exit the room. Matthew felt a soft hand on his shoulder, probably Francis. "Get better." He said, before leaving as well. Francis's touch made Matthew shutter, which everyone noticed. Matthew hated how people stared. These were his closest friends/family and they didn't even know him. They were all ignorant. Gilbert and Carlos knew the drill, considering this was common in the mental facility, and they left quickly, leaving Abel, Matthew, and Kuma alone.

"Care to tell me what's up?" Abel asked, sitting next to Matthew. Matthew scooted away. "Non." he replied quietly. Abel sighed, rubbing his temples. "I can't help you unless you want me to." He stated. Matthew huffed. "I DO! I just- I can't-" Matthew sighed, shaking his head as if to shake the thoughts from inside it. "Matthew, I know it's hard." Abel stated softly.

Matthew narrowed his eyes. It was like all the people on this planet were ignorant, and thought they knew just what was wrong with him. "You know what? I don't want to try anymore. What will I get out of it anyways? I knew what I was getting into when I started cutting, and all these other things… and now I realize it just must be too difficult to get over this anymore." Matthew argued as he shoved Kuma into Abel's arms.

Abel held Kuma in a very gentle manner, which Matthew was secretly grateful for. "Matthew, you must not understand the value of your life. I think you may have depression." Abel stated. "Yeah, all these problems, but no answers, eh?" Matthew asked, clenching his jaw. "There _are_ answers, Matthew. You just have to open your eyes and see them..." Abel muttered.

"I know! I just don't know what I want, ok? Just… I wanna run away…" Matthew muttered rather childlike. "I know. That's clearly why you tried to commit suicide." Abel replied in the same soft voice. "You knew… this whole time?!" Matthew asked, his eyes widening.

Half of him actually thought he fell. That Carlos and Gilbert were a hallucination, and that he actually fell, plummeted to his doom, and miraculously survived. It must've been some kind of joke that he was still breathing.

Abel cleared his throat. Matthew's velvet eyes turned back onto Abel's face, and he obediently listened as Abel spoke: "Matthew, do you want help?" he asked.

Matthew hesitated, taken aback by the question. "I... I don't know." He mumbled.

"Life is very important, Matthew. I hope you learn that eventually." He informed.

Matthew sighed and shifted in his seat, listening silently. Abel hesitated, then stood. "Let's go to my office so we can keep talking, okay?" he suggested.

Matthew grabbed his bear and obediently stood as Abel began to move out of the room and down the hall to his office. The place was daunting, and Matthew disliked the thought of staying here longer than he had to. When they reached the door with the glass window labeled "Abel Hendriks." Matthew frowned. The dreaded therapist office.

Abel opened the door, and Mattie walked in, taking his look of the place. This wasn't Abel's office to Matthew. This was an interrogation room. There was a routine couch, where the patients would sit, and the leather-black office chair where the therapist sat. The couch was reclined; it wasn't very comfortable, so Matthew sat down, yet refused to lie down and stare at the ceiling. Abel sat in his chair and reached to his desk for a notepad.

"Okay, Matthew, has there been any changes since we last talked like this?" Abel began.

A very simple question, yet one filled with plenty of secrets and manipulation. "You know what's been happening lately." He replied simply, glancing out to the window where beautiful lawns in between two therapist offices.

"Yes, that may be true, but I still want you to tell me." Abel insisted.

Matthew sighed tiredly, tempted to lean back against his seat. "Well... recently, I've been thinking about Francis. I mean, he's my... he's my _doctor_, for god's sake, and he won't even talk to me anymore. Then there's the whole drugging thing, which I don't _at all_ feel good about. And then the cutting... oh, god, and the bruises." Matthew breathed, pressing a hand against his chest as if he could erase the past from his mind.

Abel nodded, sketching notes on his clipboard. There was a silence, and Matthew turned his head to Abel, waiting for him to say something. Wasn't Abel supposed to say something now? "What about Francis? Tell me about him." He went on instead.

Matthew bit at his lip, fiddling with his fingers as he thought over what he knew about Francis and his opinion on the man. "Francis... he's... I regret hurting him." Matthew muttered, keeping his eyes glued to the floor.

"Mmmhmmm... How do you feel knowing that you drugged him?" Abel asked.

Well, that was an easy question. "I don't like knowing I harmed someone else because of my addiction." Matthew replied, thinking happily about the fact that he spoke the sentence appropriately.

Abel nodded as he wrote on his notepad, and for a while that was all Matthew could hear. Then, when Abel successfully wrote a full page of notes, he set his clipboard down and leaned forward. "Okay, Matthew," he began, "to get over an addiction, you need a motivator. I think this could very well be one of your motivators. You don't want to hurt anyone, do you?" he asked. Matthew nodded, albeit hesitantly.

The counseling didn't end with a simple recommendations on how to get over a drug addiction. Matthew and Abel also spoke over other issues that had been bugging him, and Matthew was amazed that the man had all the answers to questions he thought would never be solved. Matthew admitted that, after the half-witted suicide attack failed, he was so upset with him over making the mistake of trying to throw his life away that he simply panicked.

After Abel successfully consoled the inconsolable Canadian, the session ended, and Matthew felt better for it. He was surprised how much better he felt after speaking with Abel, especially when he was doubting the man could do anything right.

Matthew left after the session and went to his room to let Abel's words sink in. All this thinking about people caring about him actually worried him. He didn't want to keep someone's hopes up. He didn't want to have to feel guilt if he didn't uphold the people's expectations, like a good attitude. But before Matthew could tackle his fear of people, he'd have to tackle his other issues first.


	5. A Tiny Incident

_**Oh, I hate to do this to all of you, but this next chapter is going to be very head-turning. Umm... it doesn't get into detail, but there is rape ahead. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen! (E.g. if you don't like sexually explicit material, y'know, I warned you, although I'm sure all of you who don't like that stuff already left. :P)**_

PART I

SCENE V

A Tiny Incident

The morning began the same as any. The difference, though, was the shouting that woke Matthew in his left ear.

"Kesese… hey!" called the voice. Matthew groaned and rolled over, immediately trying to cover his ears up. The voice continued, but Matthew would not. He wasn't going to put up with it any longer. He tried his hardest to sleep, but as soon as he turned around, he was greeted by a cigar. Matthew coughed it out and shot up straight in his seat, his eyes opening in the process. There were the Cuban and Prussian bastards standing right in front of him and snickering, for whatever reason, in _his_ room for what felt like extremely early in the morning. He turned to look at Kuma, who was also laughing on his lap.

Before Matthew could even think of getting up, he had to check to see if he was fully dressed, just in case he happened to have done something that could constitute him forgetting about being nude. When Matthew concluded that he was dressed, he sat up, wrapping a blanket around himself. He stood very slowly then turned away from the two that had woke him as he walked into bathroom, closed the door, and then locked the door.

Groggily searching for his toothbrush, Matthew glanced up in the mirror to see if there was any visible drug abuse on his face. When Matthew looked, though, he saw something very... _interesting_ in the mirror staring back at him.

Looking into it, Matthew noticed that his face had black, red, purple, and green sharpie all over it. A very disgusting-looking rainbow was portrayed in the mirror, where lines swirled around his eyebrows and one of the two idiots in the other room drew a mustache on his upper lip. Matthew turned the faucet on, doused his face with water, and wiped the sharpie marks off quickly.

Matthew then retrieved his toothbrush and brushed his teeth, staring at his face to make sure there were no stray marks still on his face. He thought it ironic that he had probably gotten this trait from watching Francis check himself in the mirror so often. A popular form of vanity, he knew, but the only one he possessed.

When Matthew was done maintaining his hygiene, he exited the bathroom, only to find that the two happy-go-lucky men were playing with Kuma. Sure, it was cute or whatever, but only the elite could touch Kuma. Matthew marched over and snatched the little bear up, pulling Kuma to his chest as if he were a mother protecting her baby. He had never noticed how obnoxious these two were, and silently scolded himself for thinking it was a good idea to leave these two buffoons with Kuma. Was he too high and desperate for sex in the past to notice? What a terrible person he must've been…

"What do you two want?" Matthew asked in a surprisingly sour voice, noticing that both Gilbert and Carlos were staring at him. Gilbert raised his arms in defense. "Jeez, what crawled up your ass and died?" he asked. Matthew scoffed and raised his chin as he turned the other way, not wanting to see their idiocy head-on. He could be infected. "Don't fall through the window!" Carlos joked. Matthew almost did, just to shut their mouths up.

Matthew sat on the bed and faced the wall, simply deciding to tune them out as he flattened the fur on the back of Kuma's head. Gilbert closed the door and waltzed over to Matthew, and Matthew, who was extremely susceptible to touch, shrugged him off. "What about we play a little game?" Gilbert suggested. "I don't play games." Matthew retorted. "Come on, for us?" Carlos asked. Matthew rolled his eyes and planned on standing, although when he tried to do so Carlos pushed him back down.

"But Mattie," Gilbert cooed, bending over to reach for Matthew's chin, "it's just a game. What about this? If you play and you win, you can have a nice, big, heaping pile of pot~" he mused, patting his pocket.

Matthew scowled at the offer, but his will was wavering, and he couldn't help but cave in when Gilbert was proposing such an offer. He had to admit, it didn't sound all that bad... but still, Abel said-

"Just close your eyes for a moment, ok?" Gilbert asked, smiling, poking a hole in Matthew's attempted defense. Matthew knew Gilbert was forcing himself to look innocent, because he himself was a master at it. He sighed and closed his eyes, just trying to get it over with. Not a second after closing his eyes, though, Matthew felt something over his body: hands on his waist and lips on his. He felt the two males overpower him and push him to the bed. Matthew broke the kiss, opening his eyes to learn that Gilbert was on top of him.

"Get off!" he exclaimed. Carlos clapped a hand over the Canadian's mouth, and _that_ was when Matthew realized he was sitting on top of the Cuban. Panic raced through Matthew's body and he started shaking. Adrenaline wasn't the same in his body, and he couldn't control it, probably because of damn drug abuse. Gilbert shifted, looking through his pocket for something. Grinding against Matthew (much to his surprise) did _not_ calm him down.

Gilbert pulled a bottle from his pocket. The prescription was familiar; too familiar to Matthew. It was a sleeping prescription. Matthew didn't want to eat it anymore, and he was actually doing fine without it. Gilbert shook out two pills then brought them to Matthew's mouth, and with the assistance of Carlos, they both succeeded at getting him to swallow a few pills. Matthew coughed, squirming against them in an attempt to stand before he realized that he couldn't move.

"Let me go!" Matthew whimpered, struggling against Carlos. Gilbert shook his head and ginned, squeezing Matthew's waist. It actually hurt, as if he had cut just yesterday. Matthew's eyes wanted to close, but Matthew didn't want to sleep. He struggled, but his body eventually stopped fighting back. Gilbert and Carlos had won. Lucky bastards.

* * *

Matthew awoke with a very familiar pain surging through his body. He sighed shakily, not even able to sit up it hurt so badly. Instead, Matthew stared at the white ceiling, feeling a breeze from a nearby window. God, he was in the hospital again. The silence, though, was something Matthew had never heard before, and he closed his eyes as he felt breezes continue to blow into his room. Even though Matthew knew what happened, he knew he might as well have been dead by now. Some part of him _wanted_ to die. He should've been!

"Is he going to be all right?" a soft voice asked in the hallway. Matthew didn't know who could possibly speak so softly. Matthew didn't know a single person who spoke like that about him. '_I promise. When I get out of whatever this situation is, I'm gonna change!_' Matthew thought with a gentle sigh. Matthew heard footsteps approaching and closed his eyes again, not wanting to get caught awake.

"Matthew, are you all right?" Abel asked, kneeling down so he was eye level with Matthew. Matthew turned his head over and met face-to-face with Abel. He gasped, not expecting Abel to be so close, and felt a blush spread across his cheeks. Matthew pulled the blankets closer, frowning at Abel, although Abel obviously wasn't taking the obvious hint to go away. "No..." Mathew managed to mumble in an admittedly regretful tone.

Abel tilted his head. "And how so?" he asked. Matthew bit his lip. He knew he should tell. And he would, later, when he felt better. "Everything has been off with me lately." He muttered, thinking it was he next best thing to telling. "I know. But sometimes things just feel off because they're changing. Things are getting better, Matthew." Abel insisted.

Matthew scoffed. "Better my ass…" he mumbled. Matthew knew that he nearly died two days in a row. He would never get better at this pace.

Abel hadn't heard what he had said. "Matthew, Gilbert and Carlos said that they found you in your bedroom, naked and bleeding. Do you know anything about this?" Abel asked, tilting his head. Every day now it seemed Abel was becoming more and more like a detective. "I do." Matthew replied. "Care to tell me?" Abel asked once more, and Matthew shook his head.

"Hey. Is there any way you would open up to one of us?" Asked another person from the doorway. It wasn't a man, but a woman. She had a very large... chest area, which was immediately acknowledged when she walked in. Matthew rolled over and covered his face with his arms, feeling deceived. Whoever this lady was, he was not going to let her spy on their conversation. "Sorry, he's shy." Abel said, standing up.

"Clearly." The woman replied. She sounded like she was from Russia, or somewhere near it like Ukraine. Abel walked over to her, and the two left the room to talk. Matthew managed to sit up, feeling immense pain. He felt uncomfortable however way he sat now. He sighed deeply and looked around the room, this time for his precious bear.

"Kuma?" he whispered, hoping for a response, although the only response he got was the sound of a lady clearing her throat and returning where she wasn't entirely welcome. "Excuse me, sir, but I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Katyusha Braginskaya and I'm your doctor." She said, extending a hand. Matthew rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No, that won't work. Francis is my doctor." He corrected. This lady obviously didn't know how this place worked.

"Actually, Francis doesn't want to be your doctor." Abel informed as he stepped back into the conversation. Matthew's jaw dropped. Francis didn't want to see him anymore? "B-but…" Matthew started, opening his mouth to argue. "Now Mattie, we're here to help you. I've heard around the hospital that Francis was a great influence to your addiction. We have to get him out of the picture if we want you to get better." Katyusha interrupted.

First, what was all this 'we' business? And why did this supposed Katyusha sound like such a bitch? Matthew scoffed. "I refuse until I get to talk to Francis." He replied cockily. Katyusha sighed and muttered something to Abel, who nodded. "All right." she said, leaving the room to fetch the Frenchman.

Abel stepped in as Katyusha left and placed himself next to Matthew. "Matthew, it might hurt to see him again, you know." He said softly. "Does it look like I give a damn?" Matthew mumbled, trying not to talk that way. It was the dark side of him he hid so well, and he wanted to keep it that way, knowing everyone's impression of him would change if he acted like how he thought. "Matthew, I know you remember what we spoke about yesterday. Now is the time to cope with your loose ends, even if it hurts. I promise to help you." Abel stated.

Francis came back not too long afterwards, and Matthew had to say that Abel was pretty right. The memories of what he had done with Francis surged in his head, and he regretted ever doing anything unholy with his doctor. "I'll give you two five minutes." Katyusha said, filing out with Abel. The door closed, and Matthew found that he was alone with Francis, although the Frenchie didn't look like he was going to get comfortable.

"What happened to me?" Matthew asked curiously. Francis sighed as he sat down on the far end of the bed. "Mon cher, you were raped by what appears to be by two people… you suffered a lot of pain. You were bleeding, and you ate so many sleeping pills that we had to flush your stomach, or else you would've never... made it." Francis muttered, his eyes downcast.

Matthew understood completely. He would've died. So after he was raped, the rapists took him to the hospital. Those bitches. Matthew sighed, slapping his forehead. "I was upset when I heard what you did. How could you let this happen to you? I was so happy to hear that you were getting help… or so I thought…" Francis muttered.

And so it began. Matthew knew that he was going to hear another lecture. He looked down, a little ashamed. Everything was finally catching up to him, and he was getting his punishment. "I didn't do it on purpose." Matthew muttered quietly. "Of _course_ not…" Francis replied sarcastically.

Matthew bit his lip and frowned grimly. "I mean it… I-I didn't mean to…" he muttered, on the brink of tears. "Oh… mon dieu... pardonnez-moi. Are you ok?" Francis asked, putting a hand on Matthew's shoulder. Matthew turned to him. "I wish you understood how difficult this is. That you could blame the people that are actually accountable for this instead of me." He stated.

Francis looked a bit taken aback by the statement. "Mathieu, are you okay?" he whispered softly, placing a hand on Matthew's shoulder. Matthew fell into a complete silence, wishing that Francis understood. Wishing that he cared correctly, and most especially wishing that he was consolable.

Francis cleared his throat. "Mathieu, what are you lost in thought about?" Francis asked, tilting his head. "That's none of your business," Matthew snapped back, but as soon as the words left his mouth tears formed around his eyes, and he turned away. Matthew felt Francis reach for a hug, and quickly wiped the tears from his eyes. "No, don't." he muttered.

Francis automatically pulled away, although he looked somewhat confused by the warning. "I thought you liked it when I touched you…" he muttered. "Well, you were wrong." Matthew retorted. "Oh mon dieu! Mon cher, please, just tell me." Francis stated, the begging clear in his violet eyes. "I almost died." Matthew retorted, blurting it out. Francis smiled a bit. "And you just realized this?" he asked. "Yes." Matthew confirmed, staring fixatedly at the wall behind the Frenchie.

"Well, now that you've admitted it, you can get better!" exclaimed, patting the Canadian's shoulder. What did he think he was, some kind of therapist? Matthew had always known he almost died. From the first time he cut, he knew he was in danger. He assumed no one else knew that he had been cutting, etc. for over a year. That may not have been what was actually hurting Matthew, but Francis's consolation _did_ make him feel slightly better.

Francis then continued on to ask Matthew how he had been doing, which Matthew replied to with a small smile and several nods and short statements. There really was no reason to worry Francis more than he was already worrying.

When the hour was over, and Matthew was done talking with Francis, Katyusha returned and led him out.

She looked relieved just to see that they had their clothes on, and Matthew knew no one ever expected much from him. It shouldn't have been surprising that they were trying to award him even on the little things now. Abel came back and handed Matthew his bear back as well, and Matthew was dissuaded from threatening them to give him back.

"Well, is that all you wanted? Because if that's it, we're going to take you back to the mental facility." Katyusha explained, holding a clipboard in front of her. Matthew scowled, grimacing at the thought. "I don't want to go back." He stated. "We know, trust me, but you have to." She retorted. Matthew nodded and looked down, wondering if he could even stand with such a pain searing through his body.

Abel walked over and grabbed his hand, pulling him to his feet. He could've been a little gentler… but Matthew didn't really mind the pain, of course, because his past experiences made it difficult to get over his old addictions. Matthew did realize, though, that it hurt very badly. He felt stiff, and he didn't want to move. There was a burning lower on his body, and he felt like scratching something, like most drug addicts did when they didn't get their fix.

"Let's get going then." Katyusha said, leading the two to her car.

* * *

Matthew sighed as he walked through the mental facility's halls, finally done riding in Kayusha's car. He was happy to finally be gone from the woman.

It was already scheduled that Abel and Matthew would have a short therapy session, and then Abel would show him to his new room. Hopefully this one didn't have anything dangerous in it.

When Abel and Matthew finally made it back to his office, Matthew lied down, not even thinking about how he was sitting. "Matthew, I'd like to know what happened before we continue." Abel muttered as he sat himself across from Matthew. Matthew's first reaction to the words was the feeling of hesitation lurching in his stomach. "Carlos and Gil did it." He admitted after a long, awkward, silence.

Abel sighed deeply, writing notes as he continued, "And what did you do to stop them?" he asked. "I couldn't stop them. Gilbert was on top of me." Matthew said, rolling his eyes. To him, it made perfect sense. He hated when he had to state the obvious. "Ah. Why didn't you leave the room _before_ he got on top of you?" Abel asked, deciding to move on from the previous question. Matthew searched for an answer, but he just couldn't find one.

Matthew kept his mouth shut and stared at the ceiling as he thought the experience over.

After it was clear Matthew wasn't going to answer, Abel moved on to a different question. Abel asked several more questions, to which Matthew all replied honestly to. It turned out that Matthew's new room was going to be moved closer to Abel's office. What a long day…

Around the fifth question, Matthew turned on his side, closing his eyes and sighing tiredly. "Abel, I'm getting tired. Can I go to sleep now?" he asked softly, becoming somewhat exhausted after all of this confessing. Abel had brought him into a sense of comfort, and Matthew found himself comfortable enough to fall asleep while answering questions to Abel.

"Alright," Abel replied, standing from his seat. Matthew sat up as well, his eyes half-lidded as he stood, bringing Kuma to his chest. Abel took his hand and helped guide him back to his room. Matthew felt like he was a complete zombie.

When they reached Matthew's new room, Matthew squeezed Kuma, letting out a rather wide yawn. "I'll have the nurses move your things in tomorrow." Abel informed, in the process of opening the door for Matthew.

Matthew took a groggy step into the new room, rubbing his eyes as he took a look around the place. His groin was really bothering him since he stood, and he wanted to go back to bed. Before he could do so, though, Abel stepped beside him.

"Matthew." Abel said, attracting Matthew's attention. "What?" Matthew mumbled, clearly expecting some bad news of some sort from the frown on his face. What he heard, however, was completely different from what he was expecting.

"I'm proud of you." Abel informed, and for a moment everything fell silent. "Good night, Matthew." Abel patted his shoulder, then excused himself from the room.

Matthew stayed still for a few good seconds, feeling he tears form at the corner of his eyes. Someone... was _proud_ of him, and it didn't take extreme effort or bribing. He didn't think he had ever heard those words before, and they struck him to the core.

The room was even larger than the other one. Matthew didn't like it. He hated how spacious everything was, but he also hated close spaces. He was in solitude again, but this time there was a reason for getting through all of this shit. He laid down on the bed and closed his eyes, letting himself fall into an uneasy slumber.

_**AN:I'm really excited for the next Part. After scene 6, we go into part two, and I'm very eager to introduce our next character into**__**the mix. Like, really, really, really excited!**_


	6. Visitation Day

PART I

SCENE VI

Visitation Day

_*Several days passed and Matthew still showed expert improvement in his decisions. Although he may have had a change of heart, that didn't change anything that happened in the past, especially the rape that he had undergone several days prior. The wounds were still healing, but at least Matthew could have some closure knowing at any second he could prosecute the asses that did this to him and have rightful vengeance*_

Matthew woke up with a terrible headache. He growled and kicked the blankets off of his body, immediately regretting it for the pain he had surging through his healing body. "Shit!" he screamed, pulling the blankets back over his body. He hated mornings. He hated the pain in his body. He was just emanating with hatred. Kuma crawled onto his chest and sniffed him, placing his paws on Matthew's chest as he looked him over.

"How are you?" he asked, the question sounding similar to another one Kuma had a special taking to. "Terrible, Kumajikuro." Matthew replied. "My name is Kumajirou." Kuma corrected. Matthew rolled his eyes and nodded. At this point, he didn't care what Kuma's name was, because improvising seemed to work well enough as it was.

There was a gentle knock on the door, which Matthew ignored. He heard gentle whispering and rolled his eyes. They were probably talking about him. That had been happening lately. Then the door opened and Gilbert poked his head in. Matthew was already in a bad mood, and when Gilbert had the audacity to check his room it riled the pancake loving Canadian up.

"Is he awake?" Carlos whispered. "I don't know. Lemme go check." Gil whispered back as he opened the door and walked over. Matthew narrowed his eyes, watching Gilbert as he walked directly to the bed, then kneeled himself down and smiled at Matthew. "He's awake!" he called to Carlos before kneeling down to look at Matthew face-to-face.

"How're you feeling?" he asked. For a moment, everything was quiet. Matthew hadn't spoken to these people in several days, and for a good reason too. When Gilbert thought it best to invade his personal space, he was making an extremely vital mistake. Matthew raised an arm and then socked Gilbert in the face, ignoring the feeling he received when his fist made contact with the Prussian's face.

Gilbert sneezed, and then gasped, his nose bleeding and making a mess all over his shirt. Gilbert was quick to pinch his nose, looking down at his shirt in slight horror. Matthew sat up, although it pained him to do so, and glared down at him. Why did this position feel so familiar to him? "I'm doing fucking terrible." He informed, narrowing his violet eyes at Gilbert.

Carlos rushed to Gilbert's side, the look of astonishment so clear on his face it was almost hilarious.

"Why'd you do that?!" Gilbert shouted, as loud as always, as he shot to his feet, still clutching at his uncontrollably bleeding nose.

Matthew sneered. "Wouldn't you like to know!" He exclaimed in retort, crossing his arms over his chest.

Carlos sighed. "Now now, let's just calm down…" he said, sounding sincere, as he placed a hand on Gilbert's arm, trying to steer him away from this whole confrontation.

Matthew scoffed. "As if I'm doing that. I was raped by you two! Why would I ever calm down with you two jackasses here?" he asked. Gilbert rolled his eyes, stepping back. "At least I didn't hit you." He mumbled, wearing a little pout on his lips. Matthew didn't give a fuck what the two thought. Matthew didn't trust them. He crawled back on his bed, although he could barely move as it was. "I'm sorry. I'm sure Gilbert is, too." Carlos stated, smiling a bit. Matthew scowled, shaking his head. "Someone!" he yelled, simply ignoring their attempts to make amends with him.

Just like clockwork, a nurse appeared in the doorway, prepared to clean up any bloody mess Matthew was ready to dish out. "Yes, Mr. Williams?" she asked.

Matthew and the nurses at the "facility" weren't very close. The nurses cleaned messes, faced patients when they were off their meds, helped in surgeries, and delivered food. They didn't have the time to waste all their energy on just one person, although Matthew was proven not to give a damn.

"I need these two escorted out." Matthew said, crossing his arms. The nurse smiled a bit, placing a hand on Matthew's shoulder. "I would very much like it if you used your manners, sir." She said softly. Matthew's jaw dropped. Panic and anger rose in his body. "These people…" he said, his eyes narrowed. He would've stood if it didn't hurt that badly. "These people are dreadful. They're not supposed to be around me." He said, hoping that sounded convincing enough to get them out of his room.

"Who's your therapist, sweetie?" the nurse asked, walking to stand in front of Gilbert and Carlos. Matthew was relieved they weren't saying anything. "Abel." He said, since he never called 'Roger' anything else. "Oh, you mean Dr. Hendriks?" she asked, tilting her head. Matthew rolled his eyes. "Oui." He grumbled. The nurse had turned around to leave, but then turned back around. "We? Is that yes or no?" she asked, as if Matthew was slow. "It's French for yes." Matthew informed, somewhat insulted but moreover just wanting her to leave. She looked skeptical, but did as she was told and, thank goodness, went to get Abel.

Matthew hugged Kuma, glaring at Gilbert and Carlos after realizing that they hadn't left. The nurse, despite doing something "productive," hadn't went to do what Matthew wanted her to do. This was getting extremely frustrating. "Nurse! NURSE!" Matthew screamed, feeling really pissed. If the nurse actually came back, he would sock her in the face for doing this to him.

But, when the nurse came back in as Matthew was so hoping she would, Matthew didn't have the chance to hit her, because she would stay too far away. Was she telepathic or something? Although Matthew was disappointed when the nurse didn't do exactly as he instructed, she brought Abel with her, so at least she could do _that_ right.

Abel, as always, was looking extremely serious. The scarf flung over his shoulder and the hair stuck up at odd ends was sort of ridiculous, but Matthew was silently happy that he was here, no matter how idiotic he looked.

"What do you need, Matthew?" Abel asked, making his way over to the bed. Matthew scoffed, leaning over so he could glare over Abel's shoulder at the insolent nurse. She stuck out her tongue, which Matthew considered extremely offensive, and then left.

"Matthew," Abel began, and Matthew interrupted him with a sigh. "It's them." he informed, reaching out an arm to point accusingly at Gilbert and Carlos.

Abel turned to the two of them, and Matthew noticed the slight twitch of his lips. Was he trying to smile? "Please, sit down." He said, motioning to the couch seated in Mattie's room. Matthew's violet orbs widened. They weren't going to be kicked out? What the fuck?

Abel sat down in a recliner not too far away from Matthew's bed, lacing his fingers together as he looked between the two. "I've been wondering... could you please explain to me what exactly happened when you realized Matthew had been raped?" he inquired.

Carlos and Gilbert exchanged looks as they sat down. "Um… well, we found him after he was raped." Gilbert informed.

Abel nodded in agreement. "Well, that is one of the things we know for a fact. Now... what were you two doing when you discovered Matthew had been raped?" Abel persisted. Matthew slapped his forehead after listening to all of Abel's questions, all of which were so idiotic he just wanted to clap his hands over his ears and ignore them.

After a bit, Abel sighed and stood, completely tired of this game of cat-and-mouse. "I apologize for asking you these questions. I just wanted to see if you have a viable alibi. Unfortunately, you don't." He stated, taking a notepad from his pocket, beginning to sketch notes on a piece of paper, "While we were in the hospital, I made sure to take a few important pieces of evidence. The semen we found was proven to be the both of yours, which makes me wonder what could possibly motivate you two to harm another patient such as yourselves." He informed, all without lifting his head from his notes.

Matthew's cranky mood was beginning to wear off, but he still couldn't help but feel insulted when he learned of this supposed "evidence" and he wasn't informed. Gilbert and Carlos both looked a mixture of frustration for getting caught and regret knowing they'd be in trouble for doing this shit.

Roger continued to write on his notepad, his eyes watching fixatedly on it as he wrote. "You two are probably going to be moved to a different part of the building. We'll at least keep you two busy so you no longer have time to bother Matthew. I'm also putting you two on a restraining order, solely for your own sakes." He added. Matthew simply considered how lucky the idiots were that he wasn't pressing charges. He smiled a bit, feeling accomplished, happy he had gotten his retaliation for such unlawful acts.

Matthew then looked at Carlos and Gilbert, giving them a cocky look. Carlos sighed and walked over, shaking Matthew's hand, as if he wanted them to be friends. "Looks like we won't talk to you for a while." He stated, wearing one Hell of an impressive pitiful look. Gilbert tried to make his way over to Matthew to pat him on the shoulder, but Abel wouldn't let him get any closer than a good several feet.

Gilbert actually looked pretty sad, with a frown on his face and stained blood on his nose. Matthew realized that at that point he really didn't care if he hurt their feelings, especially because Gilbert looked so ridiculous. Anyways, he heard there was an Austrian guy with some serious OCD and alleged Schizophrenia issues. Gilbert could definitely get in on that shit. As for Carlos, he was pretty mean sometimes. Matthew knew he was sometimes invisible, but Carlos really didn't notice Matthew all that much, and that couldn't go unnoticed. It was insulting, really.

Abel escorted them out, and Matthew was alone again. He took the chance and ran with it, resting his head back on the plush bed. Kuma curled up next to him as if nothing had ever even happened.

* * *

"Matthew." A stern voice called from the ever-present void of Matthew's drowsy and sleep-induced state. Matthew rolled over so that he was laying on his stomach and was facing the wall, shoving his hands over his ears. Abel poked his skinny stomach, and the warm presence of someone's hands _touching_ him made him jump. "Matthew." Abel repeated. Matthew rubbed his stomach as he made himself more comfortable in his seat, feeling immediate discomfort. He looked at Abel, unfazed. "What." He questioned flatly, feeling upset on the inside, although he felt angrier than anything, brought on because of the thought of being touched.

Abel bested Matthew with an unfazed look of his own. "You have visitation day today." He informed. Matthew slapped his forehead. 'Visitation Day' was Matthew's most hated day. Even though he hadn't even spent two months at the facility, Matthew had gotten the gist of it. On Visitation Day, the patient's family comes over to the facility, and the family sits in the REC center around a bunch of other strangers and _their_ families. The only "productive" part of this experience was the time spent with the family Matthew "missed" _so much._

It sounded terrible to Matthew. The last time he saw his "family" was on one of Matthew's many hospital visits, and the most recent time he was there it was when he had been raped. Before then, it was when he had hurt Francis... or was it? There had been so, _so_ _many_ hospital visits that Matthew could no longer count the different times he found himself awaking to the familiar scent of gloves and death. Those were his family visits.

Abel helped Matthew out of bed, holding Matthew by his elbow as he stood to his feet. It hurt everywhere; it even stung. Matthew groaned, looking at his dresser. He didn't want to look through it for clothes. As if Abel could tell that looking through the dresser wasn't going to happen, he handed Matthew some clothing he had already chosen for him.

Despite it being somewhat childish of Matthew to have Abel retrieve clothing for him, Matthew thanked the therapist, then made his way to the bathroom, although he walked rather slowly because of the dulling pain he was still experiencing.

Matthew slid on a white tee, giving himself only a second to look at himself in the mirror, smiling slightly when he noticed that he didn't look completely exhausted. Matthew pulled up his pair of jeans, then stepped back into his room, where Abel was waiting for him.

"Would you like to catch some breakfast with me?" Abel asked, catching Mathew off-guard. Matthew shook his head, considering the fact that Abel had already done so much to spoil him, and he didn't need Abel escorting him places and making it worse. It wasn't like Matthew couldn't take care of himself! "I can go by myself." He replied.

Abel shrugged it off. "We can go together." He reasoned instead. It sounded sensible, Matthew thought, and then nodded his head. "Okay, I guess we can go together." He replied.

Abel walked to the door and opened it for Matthew, gesturing for him to go first. They walked to the cafeteria together, while Matthew wondered how much his stomach was going to stand.

Several people passing by Matthew smiled as he ate. Matthew had chosen pancakes for his breakfast while Abel decided to go with waffles instead.

Some people blushed when they passed by, knowing how Matthew was about his pancakes. His pancake moaning and groaning days over now, though. Everyone always expected a show when it was Matthew and his pancakes, and he was done with being subjected to such terrible expectations.

When Matthew was done eating his pancakes, he turned his attention on to Abel. "Come on, Matthew, let's get going to the REC center." He insisted.

Matthew shook his head in response. "I don't think I want to go." He replied.

Abel frowned slightly, and stood from his seat. "Come on, Matthew, it won't be that bad. I'll be there, and Alfred and Arthur will be there." He ensured.

The Canadian had a right to hesitate. It was his decision if he went or not, but when Abel told him such reassuring words, he couldn't help himself and caved. "Okay... I'll go." He replied, and stood as well, following Abel as he walked to the REC center.

Alfred and Arthur weren't there yet, and Francis supposedly had somewhere to be. Probably sowhere fucking off. These, my friends, were facts. Matthew knew Francis was doing such a thing, because Francis had actually told him such things before, although he tried to make it more subtle, such as "I'm going off to visit a 'friend.'"

Abel leaned back in his seat. "I may have to leave in a while." He informed. Why was Abel leaving? Matthew frowned, but new there was no helping it. "Ok." Matthew mumbled, staring at the entrance. He knew he shouldn't keep his hopes up. But he did anyways, because everyone deserves the right to dream. Abel was actually a very good distraction. When Abel started chewing gum, Matthew eyes fell on him, and he couldn't help but stare.

Abel turned to Matthew after realizing he was staring. "Oh, would you like some gum? It helps people with addictions cope." Abel said, handing a piece over. Matthew smiled a bit, although he felt like throwing it against a wall. He didn't give two shits about some stupid gum, but then again it couldn't hurt. When Matthew really thought about what he was saying, he realized Abel must've had an addiction.

Then, Matthew started thinking of what Abel could've possibly been addicted to. Cocaine? Some kind of crazy pill no one ever heard of before? Had Abel been secretly taking some kind of other dug, like meth, this whole time? Then again, that would definitely been noticeable.

Matthew was snapped out of it when he heard Alfred and Arthur talking, and if their voices were any indication to what they were talking about, they were arguing. Matthew sighed and slapped his forehead. Alfred and Arthur walked over, and Matthew acknowledged the fact that Arthur had his arms crossed. "Hey, Matthew." Alfred said with an uncharacteristically flat tone.

Matthew forced a smile and waved at them as they seated themselves opposite of him. "So, dude, how has it been going?" Alfred asked.

The young Canadian smiled slightly. "Well... I'm still alive." He informed.

Alfred nodded in response and tapped his fingers against the table. "Yeah, thank god, y'know?" he asked, and Matthew couldn't help but smile and nod, happy when his brother began to fall back into his normal slang.

Both the brothers fell into an easy conversation, although Alfred, of course, carried on most of the conversation. Then, at some time when Matthew wasn't paying attention, someone else had entered the conversation.

A girl had placed herself next to Abel, and when Matthew turned his head to them he hesitated. Was this his girlfriend or something? "Are you Matthew?" she asked.

"Oui, that would be me." Matthew informed. The girl reached over and took his hand, shaking it happily. "I'm Abel's sister. You can call me Emma. I just came here to get my brother." She informed.

Matthew frowned slightly. "He's... leaving?" he asked. It wasn't as if he would miss Abel or anything though...

Emma's smile grew. "Yes. Since it's Visitation Day, I thought I'd come and visit my brother!" she mused.

Abel quickly shook his head. "No, that's not why she's here. We just have things to talk about in my office." He informed, standing from his seat. "I have to go Matthew, but I hope you have a nice time." He stated. It happened spontaneously; before Matthew knew what had happened, the girl that was supposed extremely good at making waffles has whisked his therapist away.

Matthew was left to deal with the arguing Alfred and Arthur. They were saying something about a ring when Matthew cleared his throat. "Excuse me," he said, pulling Kuma off of the table and into his arms as the two looked at him. "I see that you two aren't talking to me. If you don't have anything to say to me, you should leave." He said. He didn't want to waste his time with family members that were ignoring him.

Arthur jumped to his seat. "I'll be doing just that." He grumbled. Matthew rolled his eyes as Arthur barged out of the room to get some fresh air. Alfred raised his arm, dangling some keys. "Don't worry about getting stuck with just me. I have the keys." He informed. Some part of Matthew was happy that Arthur was bested by his boyfriend, while another part of him wished Arthur would drive away and never be seen again.

He sighed, resting his head on the table. Matthew looked over to Gilbert, who was like a bouncing ball. He was going everywhere, speaking with so many people it was ridiculous. There were the stern-looking ones, like the Austrian Matthew had heard mention of before, to the woman that supposedly hated him. There were also others, such as two boys that looked strangely like twins, and a German that looked even sterner than the Austrian did. Matthew was grateful he wasn't talking to those people.

"Mattie, are you all right?" Alfred asked, using Matthew's distinguished nickname. Only Alfred and Arthur were allowed to use that name. The only reason Arthur was allowed to use it was because Alfred used it. "Oui." Matthew replied, then sighed, placing a hand on his cheek. "Oh yeah, I've been working on my French. Maybe I could try talking to you?" Alfred asked. Matthew perked up slightly to this new information, and sat up a little straighter as Alfred spoke. "All right… Je m'apelle Alfred!" the American said, grinning.

'_My name is Alfred!'_ Matthew rolled his eyes at the words, looking unimpressed. Alfred noticed, and tried for another phrase. "Oh, ok, uh… J'aime manger des hamburgers." He stated, seeming a little calmer now. "'I like to eat hamburgers.' Mmm…. Not bad." Matthew replied, shrugging.

Alfred lit up like a Christmas tree. "Really? You like it?" he asked excitedly. Matthew had never noticed how blessed people felt to be around his more positive attitude. "Oui." Matthew said, looking a little taken away by his reaction. Alfred stood from his seat. "I have to bring Arthur back. Please excuse me." He said, grinning. "In French." Matthew corrected. "Pardon moi." Alfred said, before walking outside.

Matthew sat in silence, feeling serene. No one was talking to him, and there was noise everywhere, but he felt a little better knowing that Alfred wanted to learn French, maybe even just for him. Alfred was his beloved brother, even if he was a dick. Then again, maybe Alfred wanted to learn French so he could speak to Franny without anyone understanding what they were saying.

After a while of waiting, Alfred and Arthur returned. Arthur held Alfred's hand, but Arthur still looked as nonchalant as ever. Alfred nudged Arthur with his shoulder. "Arthur, tell him." He whispered. Arthur frowned unhappily and shook his head in refusal. "No." he stated.

"Please?" Alfred begged. "I'm waiting." Matthew added.

"Ok…" Arthur replied. He mumbled something quietly that Matthew couldn't hear. Alfred smacked him lightly on the arm, and Arthur repeated the words. "We're getting married." he informed, then turned his head the other way.

Matthew didn't know how to feel about this new development. It sounded interesting, but even if Matthew wanted to go to the wedding, he was still confined to the mental facility. Anyways, Matthew wondered if this was just some extreme attempt to bring Arthur back to the conversation. Alfred and Arthur had been dating for four years. Matthew recalled a certain argument in which Alfred and Arthur were in a serious relationship rut, and Alfred defended that the reason they couldn't get married was that Matthew was a serious road block in their relationship. Now it was clear Alfred had gotten over it. Matthew smiled knowing he was Arthur's past reasons for their halted marriage.

Matthew nodded, smiling a small smile. "Congratulations." He muttered, forcing eye contact with them. Alfred nodded. "We'll wait until you're out so that you can go to the wedding." He stated. Weddings _do_ take a while to plan. Especially if it was with Alfred, the lazy ass, and Matthew expected that Arthur would be one of those 'Bridezillas.'

Alfred and Arthur sat back down to talk with Matthew for a bit. Matthew didn't much care what he did. He kind of liked just spending some time with his new family. Arthur would be his stepbrother, but Matthew didn't expect that to turn out well. Arthur better not be a bitch about this whole marrying thing, this Matthew knew for sure.

After the to-be wed couple left, Matthew did as well, and headed back to his room. He felt relieved he didn't have any more visitors. Abel and his sister were talking in his therapist office. He seemed pretty happy, whatever they were talking about. Matthew was too tired to eavesdrop, and instead just lied down to sleep. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately…


	7. Gotta Work on that Greeting

PART II

SCENE I

Gotta Work on that Greeting

Matthew awoke in the middle of the night to screaming. Screaming of some man, pissed that he was dragged out to this place in the middle of the night. Matthew sat up, but didn't stand, knowing that would be too much of a feat for him at the moment. He searched his room to see if the noise was coming from it, wanting to know if he should be afraid of anything.

The door to his bedroom swung open and Matthew saw that Abel was arguing with a man, trying to push, almost drag, him into the room, although the stranger simply argued back and refused to move.

Matthew frowned and rubbed his eyes, annoyed by this random intrusion. "Oh… hello, Matthew." Abel said, looking up to smile at Matthew.

Matthew nodded, and offered a soft "hello." The man who was currently dutifully resisting being pushed into the room froze and turned his head to have a glance at Matthew.

Both of them looked similar. The stranger had the curl, the hair, and the eyes… in some version or another. But, despite this similarity, Matthew could sense that this man wasn't looking to be friends with him. He looked angry, barking orders at Abel to release his arms. He was completely uncontrollable, and Matthew wasn't sure how he felt about that. His stranger looked like what Matthew was like on the inside.

"Um… bonjour." Matthew mumbled, giving the man a little wave.

Both of them knew right away that they were similar. Matthew didn't care about that. He cared about the fact that he woke up in the middle of the night for this. Abel closed the door and pulled the stranger over, holding him firmly by the arm. "This is Mathieu. He goes by _Matt_." He said in a warning tone, as if he couldn't stress that enough. Matthew nodded, despite the fact that he liked Mathieu much more than Matt because Franny called him Mathieu all the time. Matt, on the other hand, was a name he preferred not to hear.

"Hey." Matt replied, crossing his arms. He looked pissed. Matthew knew that he had already said hi, but what could another hi do? "Hello." He mumbled in response.

"I hate to do this to you, but Matt is going to stay here for a few days, until we can arrange a room for him. Do you think you can handle that, Matthew?" Abel asked.

Matt shoved himself onto his bed and abruptly yanked the covers over himself. Matthew nodded as he watched, and then turned his head back towards Abel. "I think I can handle it." He replied. Abel uttered a "good night" before he closed the door, probably in such a rush so he could get back home before the night ended and get some rest.

Matt looked pissed, just the opposite of how Matthew was when he first came here. Matthew was more manipulative and controlling over his atmosphere. Maybe Matt would be the same? Well, Matthew thought, he'd probably figure that out tomorrow.

* * *

In the morning, Matthew woke up near evening. He actually disliked waking up late. It felt unnatural, and he knew if he woke earlier he would have more time to do chores and things of the like. As he began to sit up to have his look of the place, one of the first things Matthew noticed was that Matt was still sleeping in his bed.

There were several things Matthew could do in response. He could leave Matt alone, which seemed the best decision, or Matthew could do several snoop-related things with this opportunity. Naturally, the latter of the two seemed more entertaining. Matthew sneaked over to Matt's crap, kneeling down so he could look through the belongings on the floor. Tch, just clothes there. Still crouched down, Matthew turned to the duffel bag instead, quietly unzipping it. He peeked over his shoulder at Matt, his hand slipping down as the bag opened. Almost immediately, Matthew had found something. Matthew pulled out a huge bong, and his eyes widened. Jackpot!

Matt's stuff would have to be checked later, but at least Matthew could do this much for the other Canadian. Matthew decided to help the other out and stood back to his feet, carrying the glass object with him to the window. Peeking over the edge, Matthew dropped the object and watched as it fell a good two stories before it shattered. Although the noise was barely audible, Matthew slowly closed the window, then locked it with a soft _click_.

For Matthew, he was doing both of them a favor. If he even saw one more thing related to drugs, he would flip and manage to put all of it into his body one way or another, and knew that couldn't be tolerated. This was much smarter than leaving Matt to his drugs.

Matthew turned his head to Matt, who was mumbling and turning around in his sleep. As silently as he could, Matthew walked over to his bear and picked him off the bed. "Kuma." He whispered. The little bear opened his cute little eyes and looked at Matthew with immerse innocence, yawning as Matthew leaned in closer to whisper something into his ear.

"Let's get going." He whispered softly, carrying his bear out of the room with him. Kuma whined and stuffed his face in Matthew's arm as he moved, and Matthew appreciated the well-deserved distraction from his new roommate's drug addiction. Kuma was adorable, and Matthew considered honing his bear's adorability to his liking so people would see him as a more innocent being than most usually considered him as.

Matthew stopped when he reached his predetermined destination, knocking on Abel's door as he calmly assessed what he was going to tell the Netherlander when he opened the door. Currently in the process of what Matthew assumed was Abel putting gel in his hair, he hugged Kuma closer and tilted his head at the man that had a hand pressed against his head. "Could we talk?" he asked. "Um… sure. Come right on in." Abel replied, opening the door wider for Mattie.

Matthew walked inside, smiling a little as he made it towards the couch and lied himself down. Abel walked to his chair, sitting with his legs crossed as he pulled out a notepad and started writing, keeping his ears open for whatever Matthew had to say.

"Abel, I'm not sure this whole roommate things is going to work. After everything's that happened with Gilbert and Carlos... I don't think I'm ready to be exposed to people just yet." Matthew muttered, staring at the ceiling as he spoke. When he really thought about it, the words he spoke felt so true to him.

"Oh, don't you worry, Matt has no interest in speaking with people." Abel assured.

"But… m-my problems…" Matthew whispered.

Abel nodded in understanding. "Yes, I know, but we've already checked Matt's bags, and the nurses have confirmed that he doesn't have anything with him." Abel replied.

Matthew shook his head, rejecting the reassurance Abel attempted to provide. "No… I saw what he had in there. There was a bong." He said, thinking back on his memory.

Abel frowned, lowering his pencil. "You must be kidding." Abel stated.

Matthew shook his head. "No, I'm not. I found the bong and tossed it out the window." He informed.

Abel managed to retain his patience, and nodded as he sketched several words on his clipboard. "Okay," he began with a sigh, placing the clipboard back down. "I'll tell the nurses to check his bags again." He informed. "Now, is there anything else you want to tell me?" he asked.

Matthew hesitated at the offer. Sure, there were all sorts of things he could tell Abel about. "Abel... what is your family like?" he asked.

There was a pause, and then the tap of Abel's pencil against the clipboard. "Well, they're... tolerable." He replied, then placed his pencil on the table, along with his notepad. "Why? Is there some... _issue_ concerning your family? Have they been harassing you or stressing you out?" he asked.

Taken slightly aback, Matthew shook his head. "No, not at all... they've been supporting me... I was just thinking about what they told me yesterday." He informed.

"And what did they tell you?" Abel asked.

Shifting in his seat, Matthew sat back up, running a hand through his naturally curly hair. "Ah... Arthur told me they were getting married." He mumbled, and his lips curled down in a dissatisfied frown when he felt the wavering in his voice.

Abel shifted in his seat, leaning forward with his hands clasped together. "And how do you feel about that?" he asked.

Matthew shook his head in response. "I'm just... I used to think they wouldn't marry because of me. And... now that they are... how am I supposed to feel? Are they doing this because they think I can do this? Or are they making their own family? I don't want to risk accidentally fucking up and ruin the chance of them living a happy life. They're just going to leave me anyways, so maybe I should just give up now." Matthew replied, shrugging as if he could remove the burden afflicting him.

Abel smiled in response, which Matthew found slightly surprising. "It's okay, Matthew, I know you can do this. And Alfred and Arthur want you to go to the wedding, don't they?" he asked.

Matthew chuckled. "Fuck, how am I supposed to know what Arthur thinks?" he asked.

Reaching over, Abel rested a hand on Matthew's shoulder. "Matthew. Alfred loves you, and he worried enough about you to visit you every time he had the chance. You don't have to fret over Alfred because you have more important matters to face, and because he cares very much about you." He assured.

"Okay." Matthew mumbled as he glanced at the clock and automatically recognized the time as the time for lunch. "I'm going to get some food." He informed, and stood to his feet.

"Are you sure you don't want to keep talking?" Abel asked. Matthew shook his head. "I'm okay. I'll just go get some food now." he informed.

Abel let him go, and he walked into the hallway to the dining room. Matthew kept his head bowed down as he walked through the halls to the cafeteria, finally stopping when he reached the open doors. As he walked into the room, noise overtook his ears. Matthew sat down with his plate of pancakes, relieved he never got tired of them. As he began to take a bite out of his pancakes, Matthew noticed that Matt was walking over, newly dressed in a plaid flannel shirt and some jeans. Sunglasses covered his eyes and he had his hair tied in a loose ponytail.

Other than the fact that Matthew was slightly surprised to see that Matt's hair was longer than he first suspected it was, Matthew had no interest in the man. He raised his head as Matt stopped in front of him, and he could feel the tension emanating from the other Canadian. Out of nowhere, Matt picked him up by his shirt and slammed his head against the table, pancakes under Mattie's head. The plate didn't break, but now there was pancake syrup and batter covering the back of Matthew's head, and Matthew had to admit that having his head bashed into the table was not a good feeling.

"What are you doing!?" Kuma whined, looking upset. Matthew wasn't sure if he was scared or terrified, but he did know he was in some trouble. Matthew's heart beat picked up quickly as Matt knelt down on the seats, leaning over him. This was proving to be all too much for him. "Where did you put my stash, eh?" Matt asked, sounding irritated.

Matthew panted, looking up at Matt. "I didn't do anything." He muttered, his voice faint. "What was that?" Matt scolded, taking both of Matthew's hands and pinning them against the table. "I threw your bong out the window." Matthew stated, a little stronger than his earlier voice. He didn't struggle, feeling the relapse of past experiences drag him into the false thought that pain was good, which upset Matthew rather prominently.

Matt faltered, before pressing Matthew closer into the table, his eyes still narrowed behind those stupid shades. "Hey! What're you doing?" Abel asked, and before Matthew had time to appropriately react, Abel was next to Matt and was in the process of prying him away from the Canadian.

Matthew rubbed his arm, rolling his eyes as he situated himself back on the bench of his seat. What a dick.

"This little kid stole my shit!" Matt growled. "What kinds of things are we talking about here?" Abel asked. Matt opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again.

Matthew sat back on his seat. His ass hurt, and he felt extremely uncomfortable in his own skin. He pulled his long sleeves up to look at his scars, dragging his nails across the skin. Abel took Matthew's hand, pulling him to his feet. "Stop." He ordered, sounding somewhat ill-mannered. Matthew dropped his hands, tapping his foot. "Matt, apologize." Abel stated, motioning to Matthew as he let go of the little Canadian's hand.

"Why should_ I_ apologize to _him_? He touched my stuff." Matt retorted, rolling his eyes. "You're going to die if you keep up that attitude." Abel scolded. "How many drugs have you tried now? Fifty?" he added, narrowing his eyes. "Abel, stop. It's fine." Matthew muttered, too low for Matt to hear. Matthew didn't know what was happening. Why was Abel arguing with a patient? He was pretty sure the facility was clear on the therapists _not_ doing that.

Abel sighed, shaking his head. Matt crossed his arms, his lips curling into a scowl as he looked at Abel through his shades. "Don't tell me what to do, asshole." He grumbled.

In response, Abel simply muttered something under his breath, probably in a foreign language that Matthew didn't understand, before he gently took Matthew by the arm, allowing him to pick up his bear, before he took the Canadian with him to his office.

Matthew stopped in front of Abel's office, keeping his head bowed as Abel unlocked the door. "What is it?" he asked. "…It's nothing." Matthew mumbled, walking in when Abel held the door open for him.

He tried to calm down his body so he wasn't so 'aroused,' uncomfortably shifting in his lap as he tried to stop thinking about drugs, fighting, and, most importantly, men. Watching Abel pull Matt off of his body was so embarrassing. But what if Matt hadn't gotten off? Matthew crossed his legs and began staring out the window as Abel spoke. "Matthew?" he asked, awaiting some verbal response.

Matthew turned to him as he spoke, unable to help himself from tapping his fingers against his leg. "I'm listening…" Matthew replied, watching Abel intently. "Matthew, are you all right? Did Matt hurt you at all?" Abel asked, taking on the worried look that some mothers might challenge. Matthew shook his syrupy head. "Can I leave now?" he asked, glancing over to the exit.

"Wait a moment. How long have you been here?" Abel asked. What a strange question... Matthew frowned in response, flattening his hands against his legs as he did so. "A little over a month." He mumbled. "And when was the last time you smoked, cut, or had sex?" Abel persisted. Matthew blushed lightly as he pondered the question. "Probably… half a month?" he asked. Matthew had no idea

Abel nodded, thinking. He wrote a few things down, although he had not yet revealed the reason for these questions. "Matthew." Abel muttered. Matthew rolled his eyes, becoming slightly annoyed. "What?" he repeated.

Abel looked up, tapping a pencil against his notepad, which may as well only added to Matthew's current anxiety. "You could leave in little less than a week." He informed.

Matthew shook his head, thinking it was a joke. Days didn't just pass by like that. Abel was lying. "That's not true." He replied, scoffing, as if it really _was_ a joke. Abel shook his head. "I'm not lying. I'm being completely honest with you here." He stated.

Matthew knew there was just no way he could trust himself with real-world situations yet. He knew he could stay as long as he wanted, and he was taken aback when Abel even informed him of the current opportunity to leave this place. Abel noticed how worried Mattie was, and placed his pencil and notepad down as he did so. "Matthew, are you all right?" he asked.

Matthew raised his head, silently looking at Abel a moment, trying to register what he was thinking. What he wanted to say. Why he even mentioned this "release date." "I don't want to go just yet, Dr. Hendriks. I think I need to stay and continue my treatment. Matthew mumbled, playing with his hair to try and squeeze the syrup from it. Abel smiled slightly, although Matthew could see the disappointment underneath that usually impassive face.

"Um… I have to take a shower." Matthew mumbled, standing from his seat when Abel didn't quite say anything. Well, that Matthew was aware of. "Are you sure you don't want to stay for a therapy session?" Abel asked. Matthew stood, shifting slightly on the soles of his feet as he pressed his bear against his chest. "Yes, I'm sure. Anyways, I already had today's therapy session, didn't I?" he reasoned. Abel nodded in response, and stood to his feet to get the door for the Canadian.

Matthew knew he should've asked Abel why he was telling him he could leave so soon, but decided to leave it for another day. He thanked Abel as he walked through the door, and then walked through the halld with his bear pressed against him, somewhat like an emotional anchor.

When Matthew arrived in his room, he was surprised to see that not only was Matt there, but the other man was expecting him. "Bonjour, Matt." Matthew mumbled as he entered the room, kneeling down in front of his dresser do he could pick out random clothes from his dresser for his soon-to-come shower.

Matt said something Matthew didn't quite catch as he walked to the bathroom, closing the door on whatever expected insult the man had probably said. He removed the sticky, syrup-flavored clothing from his body, and then stepped himself into a hot shower. Matthew used to love the depressing feel cold brought, but heat was just as good, because it the sensation of orgasms and hot baths with heavy cutting. Although Matthew may not be associated with such "pleasures" anymore, it wasn't like thinking about them would entirely demolish his treatment.

Once Matthew finished his shower and was fully dressed in a new ensemble, he stepped by Matt on the way over to his bed, catching Matt looking-or at least seemingly looking-at him. "Umm… are you ok?" Matthew asked softly, twirling a finger through his knotted hair as he placed himself on his bed. "Shut up." Matt replied, crossing his arms with one vicious glare, although Matthew could see the blush on his cheeks.

The thought that Matthew had managed to make such a venomous person blush was surprisingly uplifting. He had managed something that seemed entirely unexpected, and he hadn't even done it on purpose! Granted, if Matthew wanted, he could always turn the cute charm on, although that didn't seem needed.

Matthew rolled his eyes and turned around, reaching for Kuma's paws, talking to the bear a little as he began playing with the bear, which proved to be a very good distraction from Matt. "What is that?" Matt asked. "It's a bear, of course." Matthew said, looking offended. "But it talks." Matt replied. "And so what?" Matthew retorted. Matt sighed and shook his head, looking somewhat disturbed. "I'm going for a walk." He grumbled.

Matthew nodded, watching him as he left. He seemed like a real awkward person. Matthew assumed that he was, too, but it wasn't really that bad of a trait. Kuma yawned, patting his soft paws against Matthew's hands. "Was that you?" he asked. "Nope." Matthew replied, happy that it wasn't him.


	8. A Little Bit of Therapy

PART II

SCENE II

A Little Bit of Therapy

When Matthew awoke, he had no idea what to expect from his roommate Matt. Would he find the other Canadian doing drugs, or just sleeping on his bed like nothing happened? Yesterday proved to be enough stress for the little Canadian, and he decided today would be a day to just relax and do what he was supposed to do. Since Matt was nice, Matthew considered taking him to therapy, knowing how difficult it was for himself to go when he didn't want to. It would be good to give him a little support.

Matthew sat up on his bed and stretched his arms over his head, yawning cutely as he first began to wake up. He surveyed the room with a little turn of the head, seeing Mart still asleep in his bed and Kuma placed on his lap. He giggled quietly as he reached down to pet his precious bear, and then began to crawl out of bed to change into some more suitable clothing to start the day.

Matthew kneeled down in front of his dresser and chose some clothing to wear, and then went to the bathroom to change into them. While he was changing, though, Matthew's eyes kept trailing to the mirror as he gazed at his hair, and immediately after dressing his hands went to work feeling the texture of the somewhat hardened strands. This was because of Matt' terrible pancake fiasco yesterday, wasn't it? Matthew sighed gently and lowered his hand, dropping it back onto the sink. He then brushed his teeth and his hair before exiting the bathroom once more to see that Matt was sitting up on his bed. Had Matthew accidentally awoken him?

"Hello..." Matthew mumbled, slowly approaching his bed as his eyes kept themselves trained on Matt. He looked tired, as if he had just gotten up. Matthew had no doubt in his mind that he had woken the other Canadian up now.

Mat frowned in response, still rubbing the tired from his eyes. "What do you want?" he growled, and Matthew was somewhat taken aback by how furious he sounded. What was wrong with saying good morning?

"N-nothing. I mean," Matthew began, clearing his voice, "I don't want anything from you." He replied. Unfortunately for him, he still had the small difficulty of learning to speak without messing up.

Matt simply continued to scowl in response, and matt was beginning to wonder if it hurt to do that to your mouth. "Oh, likely story. Have you been looking through my shit again?" he asked, getting ready to stand up and go check his belongings.

Matthew sighed as he sat back down on his bed and brought Kuma to his lap, stroking his back like an evil villain would in the movies when the others couldn't tell what he was thinking or about to do. "Well, that was only a one-time thing. I'm sorry I did that, but... I just can't be around drugs. It's very dangerous for me to be in the same room as someone I know has something that could potentially make me relapse. I'm sorry if I was trying to protect my own recovery." He replied, somewhat surprised at himself for how snappy that sounded.

Matt lowered his arms and relaxed back into his seat. His eyes were now narrowed, and Matthew considered what he looked like when he was surprised. Maybe his own emotion was anger? "Well," he began, "Just don't touch my shit again. There's nothing in there." He stated in an animal like growl.

Matthew frowned and bowed his head, running his fingers across Kuma's gentle fur when he began to stir again, and he caught a quick glimpse of Matt's astonished expression. He couldn't help but smile knowing he had surprised the other and turned on an emotion other than hate and abhorrence.

"Good morning..." Kuma mumbled, shifting under Matthew's hands, Matthew smirked back up at Matt before he took the little bear into his arms, giving him a gentle squeeze. Goodness, sometimes it was just so wonderful to have a living pillow.

"What the duck is that thing? How is it talking like that?" Matt asked, pointing to the little bear. Matthew turned his head back onto Matt and placed Kuma on his lap. "He's an actual bear, and he speaks." He informed.

Kuma quizzically lifted his head to examine the stranger. "Who are you?" he asked, and Matthew felt his heart gush.

Matt raised an eyebrow, pointing at himself. "I'm Matt. And it would do you good to remember that." He stated, rather sternly, might Matthew add. Kuma shifted his paws onto Mathew's kneecaps as he looked back up at Matt. "Who is that?" he asked. Matt scowled unhappily. "Who is that? It's Matt! That's it!" he exclaimed.

Matthew ad never seen Kuma do such a thing with a person before, but he wasn't surprised that he could be so rhetorical. He placed a hand on his bear's head as Kuma continued to aggravate Matt, to no end: "Who is Matt?" he asked, and Matthew began to giggle.

Matt was growing so frustrated the he was beginning to stand up. He would probably approach Matthew and Kuma in no time and probably get in a physical altercation with them if Matthew wasn't cautious of his pet. "What's so funny?" he asked, pointing at Matthew, as if to hope3 to silence Matthew bear.

Indeed, Kuma had closed his eyes again, tired of playing Who's Who with Matt, probably because Matt hadn't proved to be much amusing.

Matthew shifted Kuma onto the bed as he stood up as well. "Well, it' just cute to see Kuma do that. It isn't every day he talks to a stranger." He informed.

Matt looked somewhat taken aback by his response, probably expecting something a little worse than that. He lowered his finger and turned his head the other direction, presumably done pointing fingers and accusing people of things they didn't do.

Since it seemed Matt was no longer pointing fingers, Matthew decided to take one last chance at talking to him. "You know, group therapy starts at ten o'clock. Maybe you should come?" he suggested.

Matt turned his head back to Matthew, and for a moment Matthew didn't see any anger on his face. He studied Matthew's face for a moment before shrugging. "Eh, I guess I could go. That's what I'm here for, right?" he grumbled, kneeling down so he could search through his duffel bag of stuff.

Matthew headed on to the cafeteria to grab something to eat while completely trusting in Matt to come to group therapy his first real day at the facility. He sat himself at his table with Kuma, feeling oddly out of place without anyone bothering him. No matter, there was always Abel and Matt, although then again Matthew knew how Abel was about socializing...

After eating a bountiful breakfast consisting of pancakes, orange juice, and just a bit of cereal, Matthew glanced at the clock to see the time. Unfortunately, there were nit bells in the damned place, but Matthew figured if you really wanted it would do good to memorize the bell schedule.

Matthew walked down the halls to group therapy, humming gently as he did so. He caught glimpses of other people walking as well, and began to grow somewhat uncomfortable with the thought of exposing himself to it other people. Sometimes, when one of the addicts was going through a rough spot, one of the others would be "randomly chosen" to tell a story, maybe in hopes of turning the addict around.

Matthew stepped into the room, seating himself next to Matt, despite knowing he looked like the person seated next to him. Others began to file in, and then the current therapist, a person by the name of Elizabeta began talking to them. Matthew recalled meeting her before when she was visiting Gilbert. The lady was supposedly working here full-time, although Matthew had no idea what she could possibly have been addicted to, as most people were only hired here when they had past experiences with drugs.

Elizabeta crossed her legs over each other as she took a look around the room. "Good afternoon everyone, I hope you're all having a good day. Today we have a new arrival here, and his name is Matt. "she informed, then turned her head to smile at him.

Matt scowled in response, but the other patrons of the facility simply waved and said hello to him. Matt crossed his arms in response, obviously not taking to the warming welcome.

Elizabeta smiled softly, then lowered her clipboard as she looked around the room. She began to ramble a bit with some of the other people seated in the circle, but eventually the eyes turned to Mathew, and the Canadian simply stayed still in his seat as the others looked towards him. Was there something he was missing?

"Matthew," Elizabeta began, "Have you spoken to Francis lately?" she asked.

Matthew first sighed, as if he had been caught doing something bad. All the other people in his therapy group had heard a good few stories about Francis, and it seemed now it was time for another one. He told them about his first experience with Francis, and then admitted to the sex up until the day he had acted out and the secret finally spilled. He knew the others enjoyed his stories, although he wasn't sure what they actually got from the stories. Were they life lessons, or just fun to hear about?

He fiddled with his fingers as he replied. "No, not really. He didn't come on visitation day, so I guess he's not coming back?" he replied, tucking a lock of hair behind his ears. "Anyways, he's not my doctor anymore, so that's going to be different." He replied.

With a little scribbling, the Hungarian woman added some notes to her clipboard. "How do you feel about him now?" she asked.

Matthew wanted to scoff at the question. "I'm not sure how I feel about him. I think that... maybe, after some time has passed, maybe we can be friends again." He replied, with a little hopeful smile.

The others nodded to Matthew's thoughts, and Matthew felt a little better on the inside. He awaited another question, seeing the expression on Elizabeta's face that indicated she was probably going to ask another question: "Have you come to terms with what has happened to you yet?" she asked.

Bowing his head, Matthew silently thought it over. "Well," he began, "I know what happened. But that doesn't mean I have accepted that yet. I know what I did was wrong, and it was shameful, but I still can't get over the fact that I did that. I _did_ have sex with Francis, I _knew_ there were dangers to it, but I did it anyways. And I regret that." Matthew replied.

The young Canadian caught Matt's gaze and turned his head back so Matt couldn't see his expression. He was truly smug about the thought of actually affecting someone with his story.

When Matthew was done explaining how things had changed between him and Francis- for better _and_ worse- Matthew walked back with Matt to their room. Matthew hummed gently, squeezing Kuma in his arms. Matt glanced over at him, yet Matthew attempted to pretend as if he didn't notice.

Matt stepped into the room first, almost immediately throwing himself onto his bed. Matthew walked into the room, closing the door behind him. "Hey." Matt mumbled, stretching his arms behind his head.

Matthew nonchalantly walked to his bed, sitting down and turned his head to glance back at Matt. "Hey," he replied back, not quite understanding if Matt was trying to start a conversation or simply acknowledge that he was there.

Matt turned his head to the side, and Matthew caught sight of his eyes. He was frowning, Matthew knew, but what Matt said surprised him: "What you said today... That was really brave of you." He muttered.

After Matt said those words, Matthew went through the rest of the day feeling especially happy.


	9. Multiple Arrangments

PART II

SCENE III

Multiple Arrangments

One day, several weeks after Matthew's new roommate entered the facility, Abel called the Canadian into his office. Abel, seated in his chair like he usually did, held a clipboard against his lap as Matthew entered the room, and Matthew sat back down with a soft sigh. He knew he couldn't possibly be in trouble for anything- he hadn't misbehaved for weeks. "Is there something you want to tell me?" Matthew asked gently, placing his hands on his lap.

Abel tapped the clipboard as he began to talk. "Matthew, you're scheduled to be released from the facility later this week." He informed. Matthew scratched the side of his head and frowned slightly. "This week?" he repeated. Abel lowered the clipboard, looking back at Matthew. "Why, is that an issue?" he asked.

To be completely honest, it _was_ an issue. Matthew didn't think he was completely prepared to face reality yet. He certainly didn't have the life skills, and the way Alfred and Arthur treated him he didn't think he was going to last very long. The boy fidgeted in his seat, keeping his head bowed down as he mumbled a soft "No."

Abel set his clipboard aside and leaned forward to look Matthew directly in the eyes. "Matthew, is there something wrong?" he asked. Matthew shrugged as he looked back up at him. "I don't have any place to go." He informed in a timid mumble.

Abel leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. "I can make arrangements for Alfred and Arthur to pick you up on Friday." He suggested. Matthew scoffed at the suggestion, and Abel continued on to another option: "What about staying with me?" he suggested, which surprised Matthew quite a bit. Matthew cleared his throat, and returned his eyes back to Abel. "You mean it?" he asked.

Abel nodded, and offered Matthew a soft smile. "It'll be okay, Matthew. You can stay with me." He assured. Matthew hesitated a moment, and then nodded. "Okay. I guess we could give it a try." He muttered. It wasn't like it was a crime to stay with a _past_ therapist.

* * *

Matthew started getting real excited that he was leaving. He felt so reinvigorated, thinking of all the things he'd get to do now that he was done with the facility. Despite the good feeling, though, Matthew noticed that Matt didn't seem to be enjoying his newfound happiness.

Noticing the way the other frowned at him, Matthew finally concluded that the least he could do for his friend was take him for some breakfast before he left. Matthew thought it would be pretty awesome if he actually showed his nice side for once, especially because Matt would no doubt be grateful.

As breakfast came around, Matthew managed to drag the other Canadian down to the dining room to eat some pancakes with him. Once both of them were settled in their seats, though, Matthew poked at his pancakes and took a bite while his companion simply sat with his arms crossed.

"Are you gonna eat anything?" he asked, holding out a fork of pancakes towards the other Canadian. "Nah, I'm not hungry." Matt replied, then turned his head in the other direction. Matthew had learned that if he looked deep enough into Matt's shades, he could see the bloodshot red of his eyes or even the rim of red unlinking his eyes when he was tired. Matt either wasn't getting enough sleep, or he was using again.

Kuma crawled from the table onto Matt's lap, yet Matt simply pushed him back onto the table. With a warning look, Matthew returned his bear to his arms as he let out a vocal warning for Matt. "Hey." He stated, narrowing his eyes at the man across from him.

Matt, though, only looked on with a simple frown on his lips. He returned his eyes to Matthew and Matthew saw an unfamiliar look in his eyes. Oh, no, Matthew was not going to be left with Matt when he began to act unpredictable. "Hey… Matthew, could I talk to you in private?" Matt asked, standing from his seat.

Matthew narrowed his eyes, suspiciously watching the other as he stood. "No." he stated firmly, indicating he wasn't about to change his mind.

"Why the fuck not?" Matt growled, curling fists at his sides.

Sometimes, the man could be so insensitive. With a roll of his eyes, Matthew shook his head in resumed refusal. "I don't like the way you're acting." he replied.

Yet Matt just didn't know how to say no. Matt grabbed the other Canadian's hand and hauled him to his feet. The other dragged him out into the hallway, despite his shouts of refusal and the weak attempts to free himself from the other's strong grip.

Once they were in the hallway alone, Matt slamming Matthew against the nearest wall. Not entirely afraid, Matthew glared back at his captor as the stronger Canadian reached for his chin and forced a kiss on his lips, fingers curling around Matthew's frame.

This was just the sort of situation Matthew had been dreading. Didn't the man get it when he said he didn't want to go? With some difficulty, Matthew pushed Matt off of him, beginning to cough as the terrible kiss still stung on his lips. "You taste like coke." He grumbled, shaking his head.

"Wait, Matthew…" Matthew then casually walked in the other direction, ignoring Matt's calls to lure him back into the same trap again.

Matthew, although his default emotion at the moment was frustration, he was also confused and pissed that Matt would do that to him. While in a stir of motions, Matthew entered the nearest bathroom, turning the faucet on and dousing his whole face in water. He sighed with relief once enough water flushed out the terrible taste in his mouth.

"Why did he do that?" Kuma asked. Matthew leaned over to look at himself in the mirror, searching for any visible traces of Matt still on him. "He's a slut, that's why." Matthew mumbled softly so only Kuma could possibly hear him.

Kuma nodded, although of course he wasn't done asking questions just yet. "Oh. Why didn't you let him have sex with you like all the others?" Kuma asked knowingly. Matthew smiled at Kuma's skill to act as if he didn't know what was going on. It was disrespectful, really, but there wasn't much Matthew could do to change him. "I don't know. He seems wrong. All of them were." Matthew replied, setting a hand on Kuma's head. "What told you it was wrong?" Kuma asked, tilting his head back at Matthew. "Nothing, until my conscience came back to me." Matthew informed joyfully, and kissed Kuma's cheek.

* * *

Matthew woke up very early the next morning, jumping from his seat to take a shower. He ignored the scars that would never heal, and scrubbed over his still-smelling maple hair. It looked like it had been dyed brown because the syrup wouldn't completely come out, but Matthew had full faith that the color would go away soon enough.

Matthew knew that today was a full day- it was his last week at the facility, since Abel had already made arrangements for him to move in with the Netherlander by the end of the week. Matthew considered telling his roommate about the news, but then decided not to when he realized the other would probably be a bit torn up about it-although Matt wasn't very good with his emotions. First thing first on Matthew's list of things to do, though, was to visit Abel about his leave date.

After Matthew was fully dressed and prepared to go to the therapist's office, he plucked Kuma off of the edge of his bed and set off his way.

The walk to Abel's office was a rather easy trek. The actual walking in part, though, was something Matthew still needed to work on. He knocked on the door once, almost not wanting to walk in when Abel opened the door for him, and gestured for him to walk inside.

Abel's office appeared as simple as it always had been, with a window and all the other furniture still present. Just because Matthew was leaving, he though, didn't mean Abel was.

Closing the door once Matthew was in his office, Abel turned to his guest, already reaching for his clipboard when Matthew stopped him. "Oh, no, Abel... I don't need therapy right now. I just wanted to ask you when I should get ready to leave." he informed.

Matthew's words didn't seem to be proved effective enough for Abel, and he reached for his clipboard anyways. "Certainly you have something to share, Matthew. Please, tell me what you have been doing lately so I know how you are feeling." He stated.

Matthew fiddled with his fingers as he sat down, but not without a little frown to indicate just how much of a chore it was for him. Abel smiled a small smile of appreciation, and then began doing what he did best: ask questions.

"So Matthew, what did you do yesterday?" he asked, tapping his notes with his pen.

With a small frown, Matthew continued to fuss as he spoke: "Nothing, really. Just stressing a little about the end of this week." He muttered.

Cocking an eyebrow, Abel lifted his eyes back up to Matthew. "You don't need to worry, Matthew." He reassured, sketching notes on his notepad as he continued to speak: "If you're unsure about the move, we can go today then decide if you want to stay or not." he stated.

Matthew mulled over his options, then ultimately decided that Abel's idea was the best. "Okay Abel, you have yourself a deal." He replied, offering the other a smile.

Returning the smile, Abel set his clipboard back down. "Then it's a deal. I'll allow you to come with me today, okay? So you can visit the house. We'll leave in the afternoon, if that's alright with you." He offered.

Matthew smiled and nodded as well, standing back up and already headed to the door. If he just so happened to like Abel's house and wanted to stay there, at least for a bit, he concluded it'd be best to pack some clothes just in case.

While Matthew was busy organizing some clothing into a suitcase, he could hear Matt stirring in the bed not too far away, and Matthew turned his head in time to greet the other Canadian with a little wave of his hand.

Contrary to popular belief, Matt didn't sleep with his sunglasses on. Currently in the process of waking, the man rubbed his tired eyes, and Matthew was given the rare opportunity of seeing the other with his glasses off. He looked pretty exhausted, but didn't have his usual fierceness, which was pretty good in Matthew's opinion. Matt rubbed the side of his head, then slowly sat up on his bed.

"Good morning," Matthew greeted, turning his head back to his suitcase. He could hear the other moving around, and before Matthew knew it Matt was standing in front of him. Matthew saw his feet first, then lifted his head to look up at grumpy Matt. He had just woken up, so to Matthew it was no surprise that he would be a little unhappy. Matthew placed his suitcase aside and stood.

Matt crossed his arms over his chest once Matthew stood up, and he set his suitcase-arranging aside for a moment so he could speak to Matt. "Hey, uh... are you okay?" he asked, frowning at him.

As far as responses went, Matt's wasn't exactly concise. He slowly crossed his arms over his chest, and his eyes stayed on Matthew as he slowly began to speak. "What the fuck are you doing."

Sighing, Matthew glanced off in the other direction and rolled his eyes. Matt could be so ridiculous sometimes. He turned his eyes back on to Matt to see that he was pretty damn concerned about something, although Matthew had no idea what it could possibly be. "Matt... I don't get it. What are you so upset about?" he asked.

Now crossing his arms as well, Matt timidly refused to grace Matthew with his words. Matt sighed with frustration and picked his suitcase up, bringing it over to his bed so he could resume what he was doing without Matt standing in front of him. "You know..." he muttered, while folding a shirt and placing it in the suitcase, "I'm not really going anywhere. I don't how it's any of your business what I'm doing, but I guess I should tell you anyways or else you'll end up getting all pissed again.

Matthew glanced back up to see if he had actually made an effect on the other Canadian, and felt a small gush of enjoyment when he saw the grimace on Matt's face.

Matt uncrossed his arms as he spoke, with Matthew intently listening to hear what it was he had to say. "Matthew, I... I'm s... orry... about yesterday, but you seriously shouldn't consider leaving just because of one fluke." He stated, making Matthew smile empathically when he stuttered.

Still folding clothing as he spoke, Matthew said: "Of course I'm not leaving for good right now. I'm considering it, yes, but at the moment, no, I'm not actually leaving to go anywhere _permanently_ at the moment." He informed Matt, once seeing the annoyance on his face.

Matt grimaced at the new information, and unhappily crossed his arms over his chest. "You're kidding." He stated, with the same dubious undertone to his voice Matthew had come to accommodate with him.

"I don't know what the issue is, Matt." Matthew began as he stood back up, closing the suitcase but ultimately leaving that on his bed. "I'm not going anywhere right now, but even if I was, I highly doubt I did much to change your habits. I don't think Abel would be very happy if you told him you wanted me to stay just because you can't put up with this shit on your own. That's ridiculous." He stated.

Matt frowned unhappily, but allowed Matthew to scold him without any interruptions. One Matthew was done talking, though, he looked frustrated. "You know what? Fuck off. I didn't want you to stay anyways." He growled, then marched off to the bathroom to conclude their very short conversation.

Sighing, Matthew lifted Kuma off of his bed. There didn't seem any reason to stay in his room any longer, especially with Matt in the mood that he was currently in. He left the room, closing the door behind him, and walked to Abel's office.

Matthew soon arrived back at Abel's office, opening the door and peeking his head in to see what Abel had been doing while he was gone.

What Matthew first saw was a little surprising. The young Canadian found a whole mess on Abel's desk, complete with several pens and a gigantic mess of papers. Matthew wasn't entirely sure he wanted to walk into the office and have to see that mess of papers on Abel's desk, which made it seem clear the other was too busy for guests in the first place.

But then Abel turned his head to Matthew, and Matthew caught a ghost of a smile on his lips. It didn't appear that Abel was in a bad mood at the moment, although by the looks of his desk Matthew would think so. With a little smile and a bit of audacity, though, Matthew stepped into the other's office to get a better look at what was happening. "What is all of this?" he asked.

"This is my paperwork for getting you out of here," Abel informed. Although very dubious as to if that statement was true or not, Matthew sat on the couch and watched Abel as he worked. Abel set the papers aside and meticulously organized them into a manageable stack that he could look into later. He then turned his attention back to Matthew, and the Canadian shifted in his seat, placing Kuma down on his lap to distract him.

"Are you ready to go?" Abel asked, placing his hands on top of his desk as he spoke.

It was a bit of an out-of-place sort of question, except for the fact that they had discussed leaving earlier, and Matthew already had an answer for his therapist. "Oui, I'm as ready as I'll ever be." He informed.

Abel smiled at the question, and stood to direct Matthew out of his office. "Come on, let's get going then." Abel stated, as he began walking out of his office with Matthew following. The silent walking wasn't as awkward as Matthew thought it would be, and he actually enjoyed the time spent with Abel, even if there were no words exchanged between them.

Eventually, they exited the building, and Matthew sighed happily as how good it felt to be back out in the sun. He glanced around the parking lot, and then back to Abel, who was generous enough to point him in the direction of his mode of transportation. The truck was of decent size and colored black, which was fine by Matthew. He had to put up with worse when Alfred drove, especially because his cars and trucks were usually obnoxious and annoying-looking.

Abel led the Canadian to the truck, opening the passenger door for Matthew before he walked to the driver's side.

Matthew sat himself in the passenger seat, placing Kuma on his lap as Abel started up the truck. Soon enough, though, Kuma was on the floor and sniffing the seats, his nose pressed against the fabric of Matthew's chair. "Kuma…" Matthew said in a warning tone. "It's all right, I can clean it later." Abel stated.

Glancing back down at Kuma with a hesitant frown still on his lips, Matthew concluded he could allow Abel the honor of doing so later.

The rest of the car ride went by with nary an incident, then Abel's car slowed down, and his eyes turned to the house they had stopped in front of. The two-story house consisted of a beautiful green lawn and a decent-looking design. Abel turned the gas off on his car, and pulled the keys from the ignition. Matthew hopped out, his eyes still glued to the building he assumed Abel lived in. "Wow…" he mumbled under his breath. Abel walked over to Matthew's side to stand next to him, wearing the look of a pretty proud hose owner. "Surprised?" he asked. Matthew nodded in response to confirm his agreement.

The house had two stories. It was painted a light blue, unlike the other buildings surrounding it, which Matthew noted were painted darker colors. And, despite the fact that the plots of land weren't very far from each other, Matthew liked the house. Matthew used to follow Alfred around wherever he moved to, and because of that he had seen many different neighborhoods in his lifetime. This was much better than New York, at least.

Abel motioned Mattie in after walking to the front porch, sticking his key into the lock on his door. "Do you think you're ready for this?" he asked.

"Oui." Matthew nodded with a confident smile, watching as Abel turned the handle of the door and welcomed him into his house. Matthew blinked and then walked over, poking his head through the threshold. The place looked huge, and comfortable, with a spacious living room and a large couch.

Both of them stepped into the house, then Abel turned to him and closed the door behind them. "Oh… Matthew, I wanted to ask… are you sure nothing happened with you yesterday?" Abel asked, looking over Matthew.

Matthew didn't like how Abel was looking him up and down. Matthew shrugged, frowning with slight discomfort. "Umm… nothing much. Just the usual." He said, walking over to the couch. He sat Kuma down next to him, then sat down on Matt's couch, stretching his legs out in front of him.

Abel sat next to him, turning on the TV. He briefly glanced over to Matthew, and he could see the question on his mind. Matthew turned his head back to the TV instead, intent on ignoring the expression on Abel's face. "Let's just watch TV, okay?" he asked gently. Abel nodded, offering Matthew a smile to ensure him that he wasn't going to ask any questions. "Just tell me when you want to go back, okay?" he asked.

Matthew nodded, gently stroking Kuma's head as the bear rested on his lap. "Okay." He replied.


	10. Changes for the Better and the Worse

PART II

SCENE IV

Changes for the Better and the Worse

Once Matthew returned to the facility, he was almost eighty percent sure he wanted to leave for good. Abel's house was so large and amazing, and consisted of two floors and a flower bed! Matthew smiled as he stepped back into his room, not minding the fact that Abel wasn't there. He was probably out trying to get drugs or eating dinner-Matthew didn't have a very good idea of what the other did for past times.

Matthew stretched out on his bed, remembering that he had almost fallen asleep on Abel's couch before the other woke him up to take him back home. Kuma was fast asleep in his arms, and Matthew felt ready to go back to bed. He clutched Kuma against his chest as he drifted off, and the thoughts of what he had recently experienced still drifted in his head.

* * *

Matthew woke to the noise of shuffling, as if someone was looking through luggage for something. Matthew turned over in his bed, covering his face with his forearm while his other arm held onto his precious bear.

The noise continued for a little longer, and soon enough Matthew was sitting up in his bed, taking a cursory glance around his and Matt's belongings. No sooner had Matthew begun to search for the source of the noise did he find it: Matt, crouched down on the floor, looking through the other's belongings. His hands were still in the suitcase once Matthew pieced everything together, and the insult of what the other decided to do burned Matthew's chest.

Matthew stood from his comfortable spot on the bed and marched over, jerking his suitcase from Matt's possession. The suitcase's belongings went flying, and the top portion of the suitcase clamped back down on Matt's hand, making him shout and jerk it back.

Hesitant on whether to apologize or not, Matthew placed the empty suitcase on his bed and began to kneel down so he could pick up his messy clothing. Matt reached for his hand, and Matthew tried to jerk it back, to no avail. "Do you know_ how much_ that fucking hurt?" Matt carped.

Trying to tug his hand again for a second time, Matthew shook his head. "No, I can't say I do. I wasn't stupid enough to look through someone else's belongings while they were sleeping." He snapped back, still attempting to win the fight over the possession of his own hand.

Matt wore one Hell of a crazy look, but Matthew wasn't frightened. Despite the fact that he hadn't ever faced many situations like this, Matthew was sure he had a pretty good idea of what to do. Well... maybe. If push came to shove, Matthew would just swing his suitcase over the top of the other Canadian's head and run for it. But once Matt started talking, his expression twisted to one a little more comforting.

"Matthew..." Matt began, his grip loosening on Mathew's wrist. The Canadian jerked his hand back, massaging the wrist and keeping a close eye on him as he spoke. "Why the fuck did you leave?" he asked.

Oh, so _that _was what Matt was so hung up about. Why did it matter anymore? Matthew had already agreed to move in with Abel. He didn't understand why it was Matt's business. But... even if that was so, the other male looked pretty desperate to have the answer. "I left because they said I could leave, and if they said I could leave I think it's safe to say that I can handle myself." He snapped back, his velvet eyes cautiously awaiting Matt's probably violent reaction.

But, even though Matthew was waiting for something fierce as a reply, the other just seemed... deflated. He kept his eyes cast down as Matthew spoke, and didn't move to reply with anything. "Anyways, what does it matter if I'm here or not, Matt? I'm not your therapist." Matthew piped in, just in case Matt didn't understand that he shouldn't be sad.

With an exhausted sigh, Matt hoisted himself back to his feet and began to walk to his bed. "Fuck, Matthew. This is a bunch of shit. Do you think anyone else here will have the balls to put up with me? No, I don't think so. They _want_ to get better. It worked with you because, overall, you just didn't give a fuck if I was doing drugs or not, you actually put up with this shit, but other people? The second any of them find out what I'm really like all of them are going to stay a good few yards away from me." He stated with a bitter undertone clinging to his voice.

Matthew's eyes widened slightly, taken aback by how true all of that sounded. He hadn't even considered what others thought of Matt. But still... this was about his own improvement. He couldn't let Matt wear him down. "But Matt, you have a therapist to talk to. You don't need to tell me any of this." He stated.

Matt scoffed. "Yeah, that's what you think. Hasn't it ever occurred to you that I want you to stay here?" he asked.

The words sounded very odd in Matt's mouth, as if they didn't belong there, which, when Matthew thought about it, they didn't. Where did Matt get the right to hold him back in this accursed place? "Matt," Matthew began with a sigh, "I know you want me to stay, but I need to keep improving, no matter what that might entail. This time it means I have to move away from this place. You can do great things if you only try... you know that, right?" he asked.

The other seemed slightly disappointed by what Matthew considered a pretty decent way of telling him he wasn't staying. The other grumbled something then turned his head away, and Matthew felt a small twinge of sympathy for him. But if Matt didn't have the motivation to get over his addiction, he'd be stuck in here forever. Hopefully he'd learn to fess up to what he had done sooner or later, then get real help for it.

When Matt still didn't offer any verbal response to his words, Matthew began to collect his clothing off of the floor and place them back in his suitcase. "Matt, I really wish you'd just try to get over your addiction." Matthew mumbled, more to himself than to the Canadian seated on the other end of the room.

Kuma stretched his arms above his head and yawned, closing his eyes as he did so. Matthew ruffled the bear's head, then closed his suitcase and brought his bear to his side. Matt glanced at them from across the room, and Matthew knew he was wondering how the bear could be so humanlike when he was obviously still a bear.

Matthew stood from his seat, bringing Kuma into his arms, awkwardly holding the suitcase in his other hand. "I'm leaving today, Matt." He informed as he shifted on his feet and made himself a little more comfortable. "I can only wish the best for you." He stated, the seriousness drifting into his voice as he spoke.

Matt looked a little worried about the words Matthew was spouting, but Matthew was confident that he was right. He waited a response from Matt, and eventually Matt muttered a "good luck" to him.

After several more preparations, Matthew was ready to leave the room for good, and after one last glance at Matt he was out of the door.

Matthew walked down the hall to Abel's office, where he knocked on the door and patiently waited for Abel to open the door.

"Come in!" Abel's faint voice echoed from the other side of the door, and Matthew stepped into the room, his eyes turning on to the Netherlander seated at his desk. The clutter from yesterday had diminished a very good amount, and now Abel was working on just a small pile of papers. Matthew seated himself on his usual seat, watching Abel for a moment before Abel raised his eyes and smiled at him, noticing the suitcase right away.

Abel set his current things aside to pay all of his attention on Matthew. "So you've made the decision to come with me?" he asked.

Matthew nodded his head, moving the two objects around on his lap so Kuma sat on top of the suitcase. "Oui, I have. I was wondering on when you planned on taking me out of this place for good." He informed.

The smile on Abel's face indicated how happy he was to hear Matthew's response. Matthew was sure he had never seen the man smile so much, and found it a little odd, although he didn't question it. "Ah yes, we leave at the end of the day. If you come by at around six o'clock, we can leave together." He offered.

That didn't sound too bad, Matthew thought, and he could probably wait until the day ended to go with Abel. "Okay." Matthew confirmed with a brisk nod of the head.

"You can leave your things here to get picked up when you're ready to leave." Abel informed, his eyes on the suitcase Matthew was currently holding. Matthew smiled, nodding, as he stood and placed the suitcase on the edge of his seat. "Okay. I'll return when you're done working." He informed, lifting his eyes back up to Abel, who was taking glances at his computer's monitor. "I'll see you then." He replied.

Matthew smiled back at Abel, then silently left the room to find something to do until later in the day. Matthew managed to occupy himself mostly with simple things, like eating lunch or taking walks. One thing Matthew refused to do, though, was go back to his room. Who knew if Matt was still there waiting for him or not?

After the day had passed and six o'clock rolled around, Matthew arrived back at Abel's office, knocking on the door and being welcomed inside to take his suitcase back. Abel stacked some papers into a neat pile, turned his monitor off, and reached for his keys. "What do you feel like for dinner, Matthew?" he asked.

Matthew shrugged, holding Kuma against his chest as he watched Abel approach the door, and decided to follow him as he thought up an answer. "Mmm... I don't know, Abel. I suppose anything will do. Maybe next time I'll have a better answer for you." He replied, following Abel as he walked out of the office, feeling relief slowly creep upon him the more he thought about getting out of this way.

Abel led Matthew out of the facility and took him to his car instead, opening the passenger door for Matthew before he walked over to his side and took the driver's seat. He drove the Canadian to his house, stopping the car in front of the now-familiar two-story house. Once the ignition was turned off and Abel was out of the truck, Matthew exited the vehicle as well and followed Abel to the steps of his house. "You can find a guest room you're comfortable with and then come back down for dinner. It should be done by the time you've gotten yourself comfortable in a room you like." Abel explained as he walked to the kitchen.

Matthew did as he was told, and began searching the halls for a room he liked. He started with the second story, mostly because he liked the view, walking farther back until he found a nice-looking room with a view of Abel's backyard garden, which was much greener than Matthew had expected it to be. He placed his suitcase on the dresser, beginning to open it when he heard Abel call for him downstairs.

Quickly taking his bear back into his arms, Matthew hurried down stairs for dinner, which to his surprise was very decent for being upstairs for such a short amount of time. Matthew glanced over the carefully-made appetizers and the meal Abel had prepared. "Wow, are these leftovers or something? There's no way you made all of this while I was just looking for a room!" Matthew exclaimed as he seated himself across from Abel, placing Kuma on his lap.

Abel simply shrugged in response. "There were a lot of rooms to look at." He figured. That may have been true, but Matthew considered the fact that he still had a right to be dubious. He reached for a fork and began to eat the dish Abel so generously prepared, enjoying the way the taste stuck to his tongue even after he swallowed the bite he had on his spoon.

Dinner went by without an incident, and once Matthew was done eating and felt he had a full stomach he turned his head to the clock Abel hung on a nearby wall to see that it was only seven-thirty. He frowned, running fingers through his hair as he considered this. It was only seven-thirty? But he felt much more tired than that... Abel reached over the Canadian's shoulder for his plate, and Matthew instinctively leaned away.

Stacking the dirty plates into a pile, Abel tilted his head at his companion. "Are you feeling tired, Matthew? You can rest if you like. Sometimes it's important to go to sleep early so you feel more refreshed in the morning." He advised.

That comment made Matthew feel a little better. He nodded and stood from his seat to stretch his arms over his head. "Okay then. I suppose I can get some rest." He muttered, sighing lightly at how childish he felt to be going to bed so early. Maybe it was his curse for always taking medications that made him drowsy and the like- maybe Matthew's body was too used to falling asleep at odd intervals.

Once Matthew felt he had spent enough time watching Abel clean dishes, he excused himself to go up to bed, taking Kuma with him as he trailed the steps to his bedroom. Matthew cupped a hand over his mouth as he yawned and turned the handle on his door. He stepped into the room and placed Matthew on the bed, taking only once glance at his suitcase before concluding he'd take care of it tomorrow.

* * *

The next morning, Matthew woke to the noise of Abel preparing for work. Matthew got out on Thursday, which was just obscene to him, mostly due to the fact that he'd expected to get out on Friday instead. He sat up lazily while searching his new room for a clock. The room Matthew had chosen to rest in only had a dresser, a bed, a nightstand, and a lamp. Matthew grumbled something and turned to look down, fiddling with his suitcase. He ended up picking it up and dropping it, which seemed to work better for opening it than any pulling it open would ever do.

Matthew picked out a shirt, a coat, and some jeans to wear, carefully assembling his outfit for the day until he was finished and took a glance in the mirror to see that he looked... well, normal. That made him feel very happy. Matthew then reached down for his bear and began to walk back into the kitchen where Abel would be no doubt waiting.

He walked downstairs, almost stumbling. He rubbed sleep from his eyes, hugging Kuma to his chest. "What're you doing?" Abel asked, looking over at Matthew as he cooked breakfast. "I… I'm having breakfast." Matthew replied, wondering why it was Abel was asking. He then continued to ask why. "Go back to sleep or come with me to work." Abel firmly replied.

Mathew rolled his eyes. The decision was hard. Did he want to stay with the Netherlands guy, or did he want to stay in bed all day? The promise of bed sounded promising, but Matthew still didn't trust himself to be alone. Being alone came with many risks for Matthew in a house with potentially dangerous weapons, so he easily made the decision to follow Abel to work. "I'll go with you." Matthew replied.

After breakfast, Abel boarded Matthew into the truck, informing him that he would still have patients to tend to, as he did every day when he was at work, and Matthew would have to find something to entertain himself with while they were there. Matthew was also, of course, going to have to listen to any commands Abel might've had in the future, in case Matthew didn't understand that he was just a visitor.

Once they arrived at the place that used to be Matthew's old jail cell, Matthew earned a sticker with the label "visitor" on it, just to prove that he wasn't coming back for good.

Matthew was going so that he would have something to do. Abel had him doing something the whole time. Despite the fact that Matthew really didn't want to bump into someone he knew, he continued to do the tasks he was assigned, mostly because it gave him something to do; something to distract him from worrying or thinking about anything he shouldn't be thinking about. Kuma fell asleep several times, too tired to talk; Matthew was too busy to talk anyways. At least it would make him more athletic, running around and retrieving things and telling people things for Abel.

When Matthew rested, he would recline in a chair outside of Abel's office, secretly listening to whatever it was Abel was saying to one of his other mystery patients. It was usually common bullshit lies, from what Matthew head heard. Yet, something about Abel made his lies sound sincere. Maybe he ws just really good at his job.

"I know you're scared, but you'll hang in there. Just keep trying." Abel said as the door opened to his office. Abel stood in the entrance and patted a patient on the shoulder as they walked out. The guy looked gay, and obviously a transvestite. Matthew had to admit the guy had the figure for it… the stranger walked over to his friend, flipping his short, blond hair and putting a hand on his hip. Now that was real homosexuality.

Abel turned to Matthew, noticing his staring. "The person's real insecure. He doesn't do well with strangers." He informed. _Just like you,_ was what Matthew thought, which was more or less a saddening thought. Matthew turned back to him, looking innocent as always. "Ah, I see." Mathew simply responded, unable to properly give Abel a literate response with his mind where it was at that given time. Abel walked over, standing closer. He smelled like tulips; pretty, vibrant tulips.

He held out a hand, and Matthew felt the beginning of suspicion crawl into his thoughts. But then Abel said, "Let's go home," and Matthew felt better. Matthew took the other's hand, just this once, and nodded in understanding as Abel guided him to his feet, then out the door and back to his nice house.

When Matthew got home, he felt very numb and exhausted. All that exercise had taken the energy right out of him. He lied down, closing his eyes. When Kuma crawled onto his chest, though, Matthew initiated his first attempt at pushing the bear off of him. Kuma whined in protest, rolling back onto his stomach. Matthew whispered a whine as Abel walked into the kitchen, and his voice resonated into the living room. "Why don't you get your room set up while I go make dinner?" he asked.

At first, Matthew nodded, before he realized Abel wasn't going to be able to hear that. "Okay!" Matthew called louder, then hoisted himself to his feet, bringing Kume with him upstairs.

Matthew walked into his room, first looking around before he put anything in order. One thing that caught his eye was the lamp, which was really bothering him. He unplugged it, pushing it under his bed. He then turned to the dresser and opened it when he began to smell something really strong-and familiar. Pot. Matthew opened the drawer as far as it could go, his eyes widening the second he saw what it was. There were bags full of it! He pulled them out, looking over a single bag of the drug. "What're you doing?" Kuma asked from the bed. "Nothing…" Matthew replied softly, attempting to put the bag back where it belonged without taking it with him.

When Matthew's resolve showed itself, he didn't second-guess his decision and rushed into the kitchen with all the bags in his arms, dumping them right in the middle of Abel's dining table. "What is this?" he asked, hands on his hips. Abel turned around, and then his eyes widened once he noticed what Matthew had brought with him. "I thought I got rid of all of that." He replied cautiously. "You didn't." Matthew said, his eyes narrowing; suspicions growing.

Abel sighed, picking them up, holding the bags by the tips of his fingertips as if they disgusted him. "What do you plan on doing, eh?" Matthew asked. "I'll be right back." He responded, going to the bathroom. Matthew heard Abel flushing all the drugs. He scoffed, laughing lightly. It was just pot… he couldn't believe Abel would do something like that. Abel came back in after a bit, smelling just like the drugs he had just removed from the house.

Matthew narrowed his eyes, searching Abel's eyes to see if they were red or not. They weren't. "Matthew, please sit down. I can explain." Abel informed. Matthew shook his head stubbornly. Abel put a hand on his shoulder, making him melt into a chair, despite his stubbornness not to.

Abel made himself comfortable before he began the explanation. "Most therapists work as therapists because they have personal experiences with drugs, like I do. I had cleaned out most all of my stash, but even touching pot makes me a little uncomfortable, so I often just leave it where it is. Sometimes the smell still lingers, but I have every intention to remove all the marijuana from my house very soon, for your safety and mine." He informed.

"Oh, how… generous." Matthew mumbled sarcastically. It really was a good thing to remove all the pot, but the explanation left much to be desired. Abel noticed the sarcasm, but said nothing about it. He abruptly left the conversation handing there, and turned back to the dinner he was currently making instead. Matthew stayed in the room as he watched Abel cook, unable to help himself when the smell of pot began to stick to his companion. It smelled so good.

After a while of silence, Abel turned around and smiled at Matthew. "Dinner is done." He announced. Matthew looked up, since he had been in a trance for the last five minutes. "Oh! Huh?" Matthew asked, watching Abel as he sat down a plate of spaghetti. "Oh… merci." Matthew replied, and reached out for a fork.

Abel seated himself across from Matthew, and the two began to silently eat their serving of spaghetti.

The spaghetti tasted very good. Matthew learned fast that Abel was good with his wheat products; noodles, waffles… maybe even pancakes. Matthew even considered what Abel's pancakes would probably taste like. Not as good as his, he knew that much.

The dinner went on without much incident, not even any idle conversation. The Canadian figured it was just late, and neither of them was really in the mood to speak to one another. The plate in front of Matthew was soon clean, and he licked his lips as he considered seconds. Abel took one glance up at him, but didn't decide to grace him with any words. The smell of pot still lingered on Matthew's ex-therapist, and Matthew began to stare, almost pleadingly, at the other when he wasn't looking.

Once Abel was also done with his serving, he stood and collected their plates. He placed them in the sink to be cleaned tomorrow morning, turning his eyes onto Matthew instead. "Matthew, you can go off to bed if you feel like it. I'm not going to make you stay up late if you don't want to." He offered.

Once again shaken from his half-trance state, Matthew retuned his eyes to Abel. "Thank you. I think I'll sleep then..." he mumbled, his head feeling heavy as he stood. Maybe it was because Matthew was just a sucker for drugs. The scent had already overtaken his mind, probably because even the faintest trace of it could be identified by someone who used to use it on a daily basis. He clutched his head as he walked right into a wall, and he could feel the already numbing pain on his forehead from taking the small hit.

Abel was quick to take Matthew's side and clutch at his hand. Something about the unsaid tension between them was becoming too much for Matthew to handle, and he felt himself lose grip on reality altogether, and when he turned his head back to Abel he was pleading. "Demolish me~" he whispered, wrapping his arms securely around Abel's shoulders.

Of course, any sane person would run. Abel simply leaned away, the expression of confusion twisted on his face. "No, Matthew. Just get some sleep. Look, I'll lead you to your room."

Removing Matthew's arms from around the other's neck, Abel began to lead Matthew up to his room, his steps cautious and his words wary. Matthew knew that Abel knew that some of the marijuana must've affected him. Matthew didn't enjoy being such an open book to people he never really had a personal attachment to, so to know Abel was fully aware of his infliction made him feel a little bad.

Once they reached Matthew's room, Abel lied him down on his bed, forcing him to relax. "Wait, before you leave." Matthew responded, just as Abel was probably about ready to run. "Yes?" Abel asked as he stood, probably still intending to leave. Matthew sat up, ruining all of Abel's good work setting him down. He held his arms out, forcing an innocent expression onto his face.

Taking the bait, Abel leaned forward for the hug, but once he was in arm's reach Matthew pulled Abel close, setting his heavy arms on Abel's shoulders. He leaned forward for a kiss as well, but it looked like one could only get so lucky. Abel gasped, not expecting such an ambush, and was quick to free himself. Mathew hadn't touched anyone in so long, and he wanted so badly to feel dominated. Abel, on the other hand, did not. When Abel finally pulled away, he was wiping his lips, looking extremely insulted in the process. "Matthew." He stated firmly.

Matthew lowered his arms and sat them on his lap as he looked up. "Yes?" he asked sweetly. Abel thought for a moment, and then shook his head. "Ge some rest." He said simply, leaning over to pull the covers over Matthew's body. Matthew lied down once more, almost in a forced manner. Matthew didn't object, but he didn't seem very happy either, watching as Abel turned the lights off and closed the door, leaving Matthew in the dark to think over what he did.


End file.
